Page 54 of To Love a Dark Lord

The question of whether or not she could kill him was pretty clear to her now. And it was a resounding no. It didn’t feel real. In the absence of tears came numbness, and that was somehow worse. “What do I do now?”

“Risky thing, praying to them.”

Gwen shot up to her feet so quickly she almost tripped, screaming as someone appeared right next to her out of thin air.

“Let’s have some real light in here.” The stranger snapped his fingers. The torches around the room that she hadn’t seen in the shadows ignited into flame. She extinguished her hand as she studied the man, trying to figure out who he was. Or, what was happening.

He was old. Long, gray hair that maybe had once been curly, but was now just frizzy, was pulled back in a ponytail at the back of his neck. He was balding at the temples. He was dressed in a well-worn dark gray robe.

He pushed himself up to his feet with a pained grunt, the years clearly weighing on him. He was taller than her, which wasn’t too hard, but definitely lacked the stature of Mordred or Galahad. He brushed off his robe.

At least he didn’t seem dangerous.

An elemental, maybe?

But there was something about him. Something about the air around him. “I’m…gonna ask a really stupid question.” She tapped her fingers on her leg. “Are you—” Every time she’d asked this question, she was wrong. “Are you Merlin?”

He chuckled, leaning his hip against the tomb of Arthur like it was nothing more spectacular than his dining room table. “You were bound to be right eventually.”

Merlin.

The Merlin.

Maybe there was hope, after all.

NINETEEN

“Really? Wait—no shit—” Gwen half-laughed and paced away for a moment before coming back. “Please tell me you’re not making this up.”

“No, I assure you. You are finally right.” He smiled. With a gesture of his hand, he summoned a glowing ball of light, then vanished it a second later. That wasn’t elemental magic. That was magic-magic. “Here I am.”

But something still felt off. There was a quality to his voice. Something very familiar. Something in his eyes too. She blinked. “Wait. Wait.”

Merlin folded his arms across his chest and waited.

It was impossible. But Avalon was full of impossibilities. “Doc? Is that you?”

He smiled. Just enough to give her the answer. A dozen emotions hit her at once. Frustration that he had lied to her. Anger that he’d left her alone. Confusion over why he was now an old man, when he’d been gone only two weeks tops. Grief that Mordred was dying, or dead. Fear at her uncertain future.

The frustration and anger won. Stomping up to him, she shoved him. Not too hard, he was an old man, after all—somehow—but still. “You asshole!”

Merlin—Doc—took a step back with the shove, clearly having expected it, and laughed. “I deserve that.”

“I—but—what—how—” She couldn’t wrap her head around what she was seeing. “And—and you bastard, you told me you weren’t Merlin!”

“At the time, that was not a lie.” The smile on his face turned a little melancholic. “It’s so good to see you after so long.”

“So long? It’s only been a few weeks.” Which meant his rapid aging made no sense.

“For you.” With a grunt, he hopped to sit on the edge of Arthur’s tomb. She was tempted to scold him about being disrespectful, but she figured neither Arthur nor Merlin probably cared.

“What do you mean, for me?” She put her hands over her face. “Please, just explain how this is possible. And how this helps Mordred.”

“I’m not here to help Mordred. I’m here, at the behest of our mutual benefactors, to aid you.” Merlin shrugged. Doc. Whoever. Whatever. Gwen was sick of people changing their names. “He is just part of the bargain.”

It definitely sounded like he’d “grown up.” If that was possible. Taking a breath, she held it, and slowly let it out. “I’d ask you to explain from the top, but we don’t have much time, if any at all. He’s dying.”

“Hm. Yes. He is. But he has an hour.” He shrugged. “Maybe an hour and five minutes. Hard to tell with him. That is neither here nor there.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Yes, well. As for my grizzled appearance, it may have only been a few weeks for you since we last met, but it has been several thousand years for me.”

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