Page 89 of Exile and Embrace

I was almost sold to sex traffickers.

The thought circles over and over in my head. Endless thoughts of what could have happened to me follow them, all blending together as bile rises in my throat.

I slide off the car and race to the bushes, pulling my hair back just in time as I throw up. I heave, but nothing else comes up.

Zoe looks up as I come back, holding out a bottle of water she must have taken from the car while I was throwing up. “Feel better?”

“Not even a little bit, but that puts together the final pieces of the puzzle. It felt like there was something I was still missing, and I knew that there were things you weren’t telling me.”

Zoe shakes her head, her eyes pleading for understanding. “What was the point? You didn’t have to go through all of that. You never needed to know that he would have sold you too if he hadn’t been killed in the process.”

“I owe Christian an even bigger thank you than I ever thought I did.”

“He wouldn’t accept it anyway.” Zoe smiles and takes my hand, lacing her fingers through mine. “What else did you find out? You said that you had some big news.”

“Well, I’m done digging for the truth about our father now. I don’t think there’s anything else to find and to be honest, if there is, I don’t want to know. I know what kind of man he is now. Especially after he kept me from my mother all these years.”

Zoe shoots up. “What do you mean, kept you from your mother? We were all right there.”

I swallow hard, more tears rolling down my cheeks. I wipe them away, trying to find the words to explain everything to Zoe.

My tongue feels like lead in my mouth.

How do you tell your sister that you have another mom? How do you explain that everything you thought you knew growing up was tainted with lies?

“Zoe, I’m only your half-sister. I have a different mom. Dad tricked her into letting her take me, thinking it would be for a short while when he and Mom moved to Tennessee. They claimed they were going to give me a better life. Then they kept her from me and lied about it.”

Zoe’s mouth drops open as I sit up and run my hands through my hair. She sighs and pulls her knees to her chest as the sky grows darker.

Pinks give way to dusky purples, the first stars twinkling against the evening backdrop. A warm breeze ruffles the leaves on trees while the sun continues its descent.

I pick at a loose thread, snapping it off and letting the breeze take it from my fingers. “I didn’t know how to tell you over the phone. It seemed like the kind of news that needed to be shared face-to-face.”

Zoe lunges for me, her arms wrapping tight around me. “You know that this doesn’t change anything, right? You’re still my sister, and you always will be. It doesn’t matter who your mother is.”

“I know. We’re sisters, and we always have been. It just makes the past make a little more sense. It always felt like Mom held something against me, and now I know what it is.”

“Do you know who your mother is? Are you planning on staying here now that you’ve gotten everything you need out of the trip?”

I nod. “I know who she is, and I am going to stay here. I like it in Portland. It’s not as hot, and the rain is nice. And the redwoods. Holy shit. Before you leave, I have to take you to see them.”

I’m ready to quit searching for more information on my father and accept that he is never going to be the man I hoped he was.

I’m staying for Finn. I promised him that I would stay until he got what he wanted out of Oregon. Though, even if he already had, I don’t know if I could leave him.

Zoe grins and leans against me as the sky turns a midnight blue. “I miss having you around, Ava, but you seem happier out here. Lighter. It’s as if none of the problems in the world can touch you.”

She’s right. Sitting on the back of a car, watching the sunset in Oregon, I finally feel like I’m free from the past.

Now, all I have to figure out is what I want for my future.

As that thought crosses my mind, the memory of Finn’s smile and the way he makes me feel crosses my mind.

23

FINN

Dawson hums along with the song on the radio as he speeds down the highway. “I didn’t think that you were going to come on the run with us. Didn’t you say you had family in town this week?”

---