Page 32 of Exile and Embrace

“Difficult.” A soft smile creases the lines on her face. As she speaks, her gaze is a million miles away, lost to a different time. “He was never an easy child. I used to think that maybe one day my parents would finally be done with his antics.”

“He was that bad?”

“Jeremiah was in trouble a lot. He hung around with a bad crowd, and everyone knew they were only going to cause trouble. Especially in high school. There were times when I was sure that he was going to die at seventeen. Everyone was surprised when he decided to become a politician.”

Lola licks my hand when I pause in her pets.

Despite the turmoil raging a war inside me, I smile. If nothing else, Lola is at least helping calm my nerves.

Maybe I should go home tonight and try to convince Finn that we need a dog.

He would never go for it, but once our arrangement is over, I’m going to get myself a dog.

I need something to share my life with. Love. A man is only going to disappoint me.

All the men in my life have so far. But a dog’s love is unconditional. And I have so much love to give back.

I glance at the pictures of my dad as a teenager, scowling at the camera. “How bad were these people that he was hanging out with?”

“I’m amazed that he made it out of Portland without getting arrested.” Courtney’s voice is strained as she takes a peek at the picture. “He was sixteen in that one. Told Mom that he was going to leave Oregon and never come back. Insisted that the rules weren’t for him and that he was going to be out the door the moment he turned eighteen.”

“And then he went on to become a politician?” I scoff. The dad I knew loved rules. He was rigid in them most of the time.

He was also a loving father who never would’ve sold his youngest daughter to sex traffickers.

“Yeah. He graduated high school. Spent the summer smoking pot and waiting for his birthday. He came home one day, said that he was going to be a politician, and then took off. He never was able to stay out of trouble, though. He just did a better job of hiding it.”

“What do you mean?”

Courtney shifts in her seat, her gaze flitting around the room. “I can’t talk about that. Not right now. It’s difficult, and there are a lot of other people involved. I don’t want to get on the wrong side of those people.”

“That’s it, then?”

Lola nudges her wet nose against my hand.

I can’t hide the disappointment in my voice. “That’s all that you can tell me about Dad?”

“Right now. That’s all that I can tell you right now.” Courtney reaches out to take my hand. “I promise that there is more I will tell you, but I need some time to figure out how. Seeing you here was unexpected.”

“I understand.”

The clock in the corner of the room chimes at the top of the hour.

I sigh. “I have to get going. Can I have your number? Maybe see you again?”

“Absolutely.” She smiles, pulling her phone out, and hands it to me.

I send myself a quick message before passing it back to her. “Thank you.”

Courtney stands with me, walking me to the door. When she gives me a quick hug, her floral perfume wraps around me.

Tears gather in my eyes as I hold her tight.

I don’t know why Dad kept his family from us growing up, but I’m going to find out.

When I get home later that evening, Finn is sitting at the kitchen island. Papers spread out in front of him, barely legible writing making my vision blur.

I head to the fridge and pull out a bottle of white wine.

---