Page 120 of Exile and Embrace

I stare into the room, my gut wrenching at how small Ava looks on the bed.

When she glances up and sees me, tears fill her eyes. “Finn, what is going on? Why are you here? Where’s my sister?”

“Zoe is going to meet us back at the house.” I enter the room and take the chair beside her bed. “Dawson should be here in a couple of minutes to watch over us until you’re good to be moved.”

Ava nods, her fists clenching the thin hospital blanket that’s draped over her. “Thank you for coming for me. I’m sorry you had to kill your family.”

“There was no way I’d let them keep hurting you, Aves.”

“Thank you. I’m okay now. You can go back to Oregon.”

“I’m not going back. Not until I say what I need to say.” I hold her hand, but she pulls away.

My heart breaks at her distance.

“We don’t need to talk. You said everything already. I thought there was something between us. You told me that there isn’t. What else is there to say?”

“So much, Aves. Like, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that I didn’t get here sooner. I’m so sorry I made that call. Aves, you had to know that I didn’t mean a word of it.”

A lump settles in my throat. I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I had to say those things. I thought that if you didn’t go back, you would be fine. Dad would leave you alone if he thought you meant nothing to me.”

“And how did that work out for you?” She swipes away the tears that dare to fall as the sound of boots on the floor thuds down the hall.

I glance over my shoulder as Dawson appears in the doorway and nods to me. He turns his back to us, his hands in his pockets.

Even though I want to have this conversation in private, it’s clear that he isn’t going to leave.

“Aves. I never wanted you to get hurt. I thought I was protecting you.”

“Thank you, but I really don’t need any more of your kind of protection. Like you said, our deal is done.”

Hearing my words thrown at me as she is lying on this hospital bed, so close to me yet so far is like a knife through the heart.

“Yes, our deal is done, but we are not. We can’t be. This hasn’t been about our deal for so long now.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Finn.” She turns her head away from me.

I’m losing her. I can’t. I won’t be able to live without her.

“I started working for Cillian to try and overthrow him for my father. I thought that it was the right thing to do at the time, but I changed my mind. Cillian made me an offer for a better life, and I took it. For us. I wanted us to have a good life. You and me, Aves. As a couple.”

No reaction. I want her to look at me, look into my eyes. I need her to see how much she means to me.

“I made that call because Dad found out I turned against him, and he threatened you.”

Ava’s jaw tightens. “So you decide to what? Make it a game of who can hurt her more and break my damn heart?”

“No, of course not, I was doing what I thought was best for you. Now I know the best is for us to be together. Always.” I find her hand again. I need to feel her. This time she doesn’t pull away. “Aves, please, look at me.”

For a couple of seconds, I don’t think she will, but I’ll wait for as long as it takes.

Then her beautiful dark eyes meet mine.

“I love you, Aves. So fucking much. You have to know that. At that moment, I believed hurting you was the only way to keep you safe, but I do love you. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Please, just give us another chance.”

“Why? You were pretty convincing on your call. I thought that you didn’t love me. I thought that you had used me the entire time. How am I supposed to move on from that?”

“I hated myself when I made that call. I was so scared and devastated. I knew that it meant losing you, Aves. I knew it, and I still went through with it because having you at home and safe with your sister was better than having my father kill you. I thought that pushing you away would make him think you meant nothing to me. But I couldn’t fool him. I couldn’t fool anyone.” I shake my head. “Except you, apparently. And I hate myself for that. That for even one second you could doubt how much you mean to me.”

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