Page 59 of Exile and Embrace

“Are you always trying to charm people?”

He snorts. “Only you, Aves. Only ever you. Now, tell me what’s going on.”

I sip the coffee, stalling for a moment. “I feel like shit. I know that I should want to go back home and see my sister, but I don’t. I know her husband is looking after her, and I feel like I would only upset her if I went.”

“Why would you visiting upset her?”

“Because right now, all I would want to talk about with her is our father. And she absolutely does not want to hear about any of that. She wants to cut ties with everything to do with him. The will reading is coming up, and after that, she’ll finally be able to.”

Finn nods, understanding in his gaze. “And you’re being a good big sister and respecting her wishes even though it seems like it’s eating you alive inside.”

“I feel like I should have protected her more.” I swallow hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. “I feel like if I had just known who he was and what he was capable of, then none of this ever would’ve happened.”

“What exactly did he do to her? You said something about selling her to sex traffickers? Am I remembering that correctly?”

If he had slammed a fist into my gut and knocked the wind out of me, it would have been easier to form a sentence.

How do you tell someone what a monster your father is?

“Yeah. He got in with the wrong crowd, I guess. And when it came time to pay, he just sold her. If her husband hadn’t been around to save her, I don’t know what would’ve happened.” Tears roll down my cheeks as I stare down into my mug of coffee. “I should have been the one to protect her. I should have fought harder against my parents.”

Finn loops his arm around me and pulls me into his lap.

The scent of his cologne soothes part of the terror running through my mind, but it can’t chase away the what ifs.

What if Christian had never gotten there in time?

What if she was successfully sold to the traffickers?

What if I never saw my sister again?

Finn kisses my temple, sending butterflies fluttering through my stomach. “There’s nothing that you could have done, Aves. Trust me. I know what it’s like to have a piece of shit father. You did the best you could for her. You were there to support her in the only way you knew how, and you’re still there for her now.”

I sniffle, wiping away the tears. “I can’t get into all of this right now. Not when I don’t have all the answers about my father.”

“Alright.” His hand drifts up and down my spine. “What do you want to talk about, then?”

“How was your day?”

Finn chuckles and hugs me tighter. “That’s really what you want to talk about? It’s pretty boring. I spent most of my day with Cillian, learning some of the strings of his business. He wants to pull me deeper into things.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I look up at him, trying to figure out what’s going on in his head. “You told me that you wanted to get away from that life, and yet, you’re getting deeper into it.”

“Like I said, I know what it is to have a piece of shit father. He wants me to get deeper with Cillian, so that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Does he always force you to do things you don’t want to?”

Finn shrugs. “I guess you could call it that, though it isn’t really forcing. Growing up, the consequence of disobeying him was a beating you never wanted repeated. After the first time or two, the thought of disobeying him rarely crossed my mind.”

Tears spring to my eyes for the broken little boy sitting in the body of a man.

My dad may not have been the best man, but he didn’t beat me and Zoe growing up. He pretended he loved us and then only showed his true colors once he was an adult.

Although, I don’t know which is worse.

Finn’s thumb swipes away a runaway tear. “Don’t cry for me, Aves. I knew what life was, and I learned fast. It was easier that way. I didn’t have to worry about Dad coming after me as long as I did what was expected of me.”

“That’s not the way that any child should ever have to live.” I move off his lap and head to the fridge, pulling out two bottles of beer. The edges of the caps dig into my hands as I twist them off. “Here’s to shitty parents. May we learn enough to be nothing like them.”

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