Page 23 of Exile and Embrace

“Hey.” I lift the phone to my ear, reclining deeper into the chair. “I didn’t think that I was going to be hearing from you this soon.”

Zoe’s soft laugh makes me homesick. “Well, I wanted to call and see if you changed your mind. It’s not too late to come home and drop the entire situation with Dad.”

As much as I miss home, her words are the reason why I’m here. She isn’t willing to tell me whatever it is that she knows.

So, I have to go to Oregon.

“I don’t want to drop it. I need to know what was going on with him. You can understand that, can’t you?” I tap my feet on the glass panel, tapping out the beat of a song stuck in my head. “I need to do this, and I need your support.”

“I do support you.” Her voice cracks a little. “This is just hard. I don’t want you to see the same side of him that I saw. You’re going to get hurt, Aves. It’s not worth it.”

The familiar feeling of being in the dark creeps up on me. “Zoe, is there a reason that I shouldn’t go digging deeper into this? Honestly, it feels like you’re hiding something from me.”

She clears her throat. “No. Everything is fine. He’s just not a good man, and if I can spare you that heartbreak, I want to.”

I’ve known my sister for her entire life. She is amazing at a lot of things, but she’s never been a good liar.

I shift in my seat, holding the phone a little tighter. “I’m supposed to be the big sister here. I should be the one looking out for you.”

A warm breeze toys with the ends of my hair. Down below, people head to and from the hotel. Cars whizz by on the street as the sun dips lower.

Zoe sighs. “Oh, Aves. You are the big sister. Dad just wasn’t a good man. It’s going to hurt you to find out things about him. I’m sure that he was hiding more than we ever knew about.”

“I still feel like I have to do this. If I don’t, then I’m going to spend the rest of my life wondering who he was and what he was hiding from us. I need closure.”

“I hope you get it.” Zoe sighs as a door closes in the background.

“What else are you doing with your evening?” I shift in my seat, pulling myself up straighter.

“I’ve got a new song to work on. Well, a new album, actually.” Excitement fills her voice as her speaking speeds up. “I’ve been thinking about doing this tragic album. Something low and haunting that really cuts people to the core. But then I’ve got the other album to work on that’s a little more upbeat. It’s a lot.”

Smiling, I get up and move to the edge of the balcony, leaning over the railing. “What I’m hearing is that you’re going to work on both albums until you’re practically falling asleep in that studio every night.”

“Maybe.”

Chuckling, I turn around and lean against the railing. “I’m so proud of you for chasing your dreams, Zoe. I can’t wait to hear them both.”

“And I’m proud of you for getting the hell out of this town. You were never meant to be stuck in Tennessee with Mom and Dad, Aves. As much as I’ve loved having you around since you came home from university, this isn’t the place for you.”

Her words have a slight pain racing through my chest.

Zoe is right. I never should have moved back to Tennessee when I left Virgina. I should’ve chased my dreams. I could’ve gone to be a nurse in any other part of the country.

But at the time, going back home seemed like the only thing I could do.

Hindsight is a wonderful fucking thing.

Although, if I hadn’t gone back home, Zoe would have been alone for longer with our parents.

She would have gone through everything alone, and I would have blamed myself more than I already do.

It’s a good thing I went home.

“I know it isn’t. I feel like I can finally breathe, but there’s still a blockade in the rest of my life. I need to know whatever I can find about Dad. Zoe, you’re sure that there’s not more you aren’t telling me?”

Though I know I shouldn’t keep pressing my sister, I’m sure that she’s hiding from me.

We’ve spent most of our lives together. If she’s avoiding the subject as much as she does, then there is something else going on.

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