Page 81 of Casino King

Chapter 27

Tessa

It’s been a week, and I still feel like my heart has been punched out and replaced with an empty hole.

I haven’t been able to leave this room or bed. I called out of all my dance classes, show rehearsals, and even the Friday show itself, which surprised and disappointed Dan. But he knew I wouldn’t do so without reason.

I need to leave this penthouse, though. I need to get back to my life.

Alec hasn’t come to me. Not once this week. After he told me he’s the one who put the hit out on James and locked me in his home, I expected him to try and…I don’t know what…but something.

I’ve only left my room when I knew he had left for work, and even then, Tito was sitting in the living room, making sure I didn’t try to escape. I don’t even have the energy to escape, truthfully. I’ve only had enough energy to shower and walk to the kitchen for food and water when I’ve needed it.

Everything I’ve known is a lie, and I don’t know how to process it all.

I thought James was the best man I knew. But now I learn he was a drug dealer, and that’s the reason he was shot in the street like a dog. Because someone thought of him as one. Alec and his family thought of him as one.

I know I didn’t see him much the last few years of his life with how busy he was, but I never thought…I never thought he’d stoop to that level to make money.

I remember one time I hadn’t seen him for a few days, and when I finally did, it had looked like he had bruises on his face. But before I could get a good look, he locked himself in his room claiming he had an accident at the construction site and didn’t want to talk about it, and I had to leave for dance class so I didn’t press him further.

I spent six years trying to understand that day and trying to get the images out of my head of James lying on the cement covered in blood as I attempted to stop the bleeding. The few people milling about just looked on like nothing was happening. Like it was an everyday occurrence to see a man gunned down in front of them.

Oh, God, it was all because of me. James did all of that for me. He never would have had anything to do with drugs if it weren’t because he felt it was his last resort.

Fresh tears start to fall down my face for what feels like the millionth time this week.

I just want to leave. I need air. I need space. But I’m living under a microscope with Tito always just down the hall.

It makes me angry. Angry that Alec cares enough to have me monitored like I’m some possession he can control, but not enough to try and talk to me. I don’t even know why I want him to try to, but I do, and I hate myself for it.

I miss him.

I hate him and I miss him. I’m so fucking crazy. Alec has me all twisted up, and my head, heart, and body are all waging a war against one another.

I’m in love with the man responsible for my brother’s death.

I’m in so deep with him that even though I know it’s sick to want him after finding out the truth, I do. I can’t help it. It’s not even a choice for me.

Alec and I…we’re more than anything life can try and use to separate us, and I hate myself even more for thinking that. Which is why I haven’t left this room. I’m too afraid of what I’ll do or say to him if I go to him. But he’s obviously not missing me the way I am him if he can stay away like he has.

A burning sensation spreads across my chest. I thought he was as deep in this as I was.

I thought maybe…

I thought maybe he was as in love with me as I am him.

When he shot Enzo, I saw a side of Alec that I never had before. He was only letting me see what he thought I could handle before that point. But now I know the depth of his true nature, and as much as my head is telling me to just get in my car and go somewhere, anywhere far away, my heart is telling me that I’ll never be able to outrun what I truly want.

I have so many emotions running through me that I need to get them out the only way I know how – dancing. I hadn’t wanted to all week, but I know the only way I’ll be able to sort through things is by doing the one thing that brings me absolute clarity.

Chapter 28

Alec

I scan The Aces VIP back room and shoot back the rest of my whiskey. Bringing my Cuban cigar to my lips, I take a few puffs, letting the smoke and liquor dull my senses.

For over a week now, I’ve felt nothing but numbness, with waves of anger and emptiness that hit me when I’m reminded of her.

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