Page 18 of Hooves & HeartStrings

She leans over and grabs my shoulders. “You stupid idiot!” she shouts, then slaps me upside the head.

“Ouch!” I grumble, rubbing the side of my head. “That hurt.”

“Good.” She crosses her arms. “You're here, bitching about this girl calling you a summer fling when she didn’t have any reason to think it was more than that.”

“She did,” I insist. “We're connected, she has feelings. It was more than just a fling.”

“Did you think maybe she was saying that to make herself feel better in case you were going to leave at the end of summer? And dude, you kind of did. Because again, here you are.”

“Fuck.” I don’t mention the phone calls and texts confessing she didn’t mean it. That she thinks I’m incredible and so is what we’ve built in such a short time. There was one voicemail I haven’t listened to, I’ve been putting it off because hearing her voice hurt too much. “I need to do something,” I tell them, grabbing my phone from my pocket.

Bringing up my voicemail, I finally listen to that last message.

My friends gather around, their noisy ears listening in. When Marley’s voice rings through my phone, my heart clenches in my chest. God, I fucking miss her.

Most of it is things she’s already said in some way or another but it’s the last part of her voicemail that has me going deathly still.

“Do you know what I’m trying to say? I love you. I am wholly, uncontrollably in love with you, Monster or not. Please, call me back. I know we can get past this and I swear I’ll never tone down what you are to me or let anyone dim your light, Lucius.”

“Holy shit,” Brooks murmurs. “Yeah, forget what I said before. You have to go to Coral Springs. You would be a damn fool if you didn't. Also, we’re all going too, so, it just makes sense you go.”

“She loves me,” I whisper in disbelief, more to myself than anyone.

“What do you feel for her?” Sawyers asks.

I blink up at her. “I love her too.” And I do. So damn much. I think I’ve loved her from the moment I saw her. How could I not? She’s fucking amazing.

God, I really am stupid, aren't I? The choice was so damn obvious.

“I think you got your answer. And you could always call up the internship program and see if taking you after you graduate is an option. If they want you now, I’m sure they would want you with a few degrees under your belt.”

Nodding my head, I let all of this sink in. “I’m going to Coral Springs.”

“Damn right, you are.” Garret slaps me on the back, making me wince. “The next few years are going to be some of the best of our lives.”

I don’t stay long, rushing home to email the school, letting them know I’ll be attending. I should call Marley, but I can’t. I don’t know what to say to her. I’ve been ignoring her for days now. No, I need to talk to her in person. Let her know that I love her too. I want to see where this goes, to work on us. To give us a real fighting chance.

I just hope I didn’t fuck this all up and that's something she still wants. I’m not going down without a fight. I’ll give her space if she needs it, but if she meant what she said, that she loves me, I plan on showing her just how much I love her too.

ten

It’s been days since I saw Luci in John’s truck leaving town and my heart still feels like it’s breaking every time I look at a picture of us or see his name on my phone.

I’ve left at least half a dozen voicemails apologizing and trying to explain myself. My thumbs hurt from so many love and apology texts sent. But not one of them has been replied to.

My front door flying open has me jumping from the couch brandishing the spoon I was just digging in the ice cream tub at whoever broke in.

“Heyyyy, good looking. Eek, or maybe rough-looking is more like it. Go get your ass in the shower, we’re going to Posey’s for a sleepover.” Stacy shuts the door and flops down on the couch.

“I’m not going.”

“Yes, you are. Enough moping about, it’s our last few days before the semester starts and the girls wanna get together for drinking and chilling. So go on, get to moving.” She shoos me with her hands and I roll my eyes but get up.

I head to the bathroom connected to my room and wince when I see my mascara-stained pillowcase. That’s gonna need to be washed before it goes to campus with me. I wanna kick myself for falling so hard in such a short time. But I couldn’t help it. I’m head over heels for a fucking horseman and he can’t be bothered to hear me out.

I peel off my stale pajamas, the fabric slipping off easily, leaving me standing here looking as vulnerable as I feel. Stepping into the shower, the water beats down on me, its warmth seeping into my bones, washing away the fragments of my sorrow.

With a sigh, I reach for the bottle of body wash, squeezing a generous amount into my palm. The scent of pomegranate fills the air, briefly lifting my spirits. I lather up, the suds mingling with water, taking the evidence of days spent being a couch potato with it.

---