Page 44 of Capo

“Color,” says David in his monotone voice as a prickle in my neck makes me turn. A wave of terror washes over me, and it’s as if all blood drains from my head. Behind me stands Salvatore, a gun glinting in his hand that he’s holding tight against his thigh. My eyes dart between the gun and his gaze that flickers with emotion. He looks over my shoulder, at David, and then back at me. With a barely-there shake of his head he tucks the weapon away under his suit and lets his arms drop.

“Son,” he says, his voice stern. “You are not allowed in here. You can not run away from your nanny!”

A high-pitched shriek from David makes me spin around. He has crossed his arms over his chest and rocks back and forth.

“It’s okay, David, sweetie. Go with your daddy.” I glance behind me, at Salvatore who’s towering over us, emotions swirling around him like a storm brewing. I swallow hard, wondering if there’ll be consequences. For me. For David.

“Be gentle with him,” I whisper. “Be patient.”

“What do you know?” he sneers, but there’s something new in his gaze that I haven’t seen before. An uncertainty. A hint of worry.

Salvatore takes a stride past me and hoists David up in his embrace. David stiffens and Salvatore clutches him tighter as he gives me one last dark glance, looking me over.

Then they disappear, the door locking with a very final click that is pure agony to my ears.

I deflate, falling forward, clutching the towel, panting as if I’ve been sprinting. It’s been three weeks and a day. Three weeks and a day since he beat me remorselessly. I have never seen him express any other emotion than lust or rage. Often sickeningly mixed. Today I saw a man I don’t want to acknowledge. I don’t want to know he can be vulnerable. I know I’ll never see that side again.

He’ll return, and he will kill me.

I don’t get up for a long time. My eyes are dry and hot, my throat tight with the tears that won’t come.

I hope it will be quick. I hope he’ll show mercy when taking my life. I always knew this new relative freedom would be ripped from me. Today is the day. If there is a God, please make it quick. Haven’t I suffered enough?

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