Page 69 of Absolution

“About… what I did to you.” He licks his lips, and his gaze flickers.

I scoff. “What good would that do?”

He shakes some stray strands of hair out of his eyes and leans back, his gaze hardening, becoming more distant. “Why the fuck are we at this again? How can you not see that all I do is try to redeem myself, for fuck’s sake?”

“Shut up!” My heart slams against my ribcage as I jump up. The blanket falls to the floor. “Get the fuck out of here!”

He shoots to his feet and storms toward the door.

“How could you?” I ask to his squared shoulders.

He stops and turns. “It was my fucking job!”

“You hurt me!” I scream.

“I hurt you because we had connected. Right, Ker? It wasn’t my gun to your head that hurt the most, was it? It was because we were something more than just killer and victim. Weren’t we?”

“No,” I mumble unhappily.

“And you couldn’t believe that I, of all people, could do that to you, of all people.”

“No!”

“And you thought more of me, didn’t you? That I was a better person. That because you felt something for me it meant I had to be a good person deep down and not who I really am.”

“No!”

“Yes. And it has hurt ever since. That you fell for me. That your judgment was so flawed.”

“Shut up! Get out!” I’m shaking. I need to throw up, but I won’t do it when he’s anywhere near. “Get out of my house!”

“Kerry.” His voice is suddenly calmer, subdued. “I didn’t mean… We need to get this shit out of the way.”

“You’re defending what you did!” Nausea washes over me like waves of muddy water.

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“That’s what I hear.”

“Then you’re hearing it wrong.”

“Really? Then tell me how I should hear it.” I pick up my blanket again, wrapping it tight around myself, making it my protective shell.

“I can’t undo it—”

“That’s true at least,” I snarl.

“When we met… I didn’t intend to put you through that.”

“You came to fuck me and then kill me! You knew you were going to kill me. You tied me up, scared me, beat me.”

He regards me, something dark flashes through his eyes for a brief moment, making my gut churn. “I should leave. And you need a fucking spanking for being so fucking mouthy!”

“You’re an asshole,” I spit. “You’re just like your boss, like that shit Salvatore! I hate you all!”

He blinks and throws out his hands. “What do you want from me?”

“I thought you wanted to talk.”

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