Page 25 of Absolution

Christian tightens his lips into a thin line, making my heart jolt. He looks like he’ll lash out any second, but then he suddenly sounds all business. He snatches up his cap off the floor and puts it on his head. “Well… either we wait—”

“Wait? Wait for what?”

“—or we walk.”

I stare emptily in front of me. Instead of seeing the living room, I see the forest, the upwards and downwards slopes, the rocks and the trees. “It’s… it’s probably a four-hour walk,” I whisper, “or more. Oh God.”

“There’s no fucking God,” he snarls, his face grim. “All right, so we walk.” He picks up his phone. “We gotta wait a little. At some fucking point along the way we gotta be able to call for help.”

I sink down next to our daughter, bone tired. Christian disappears to the bathroom for a while, and then comes back to sit on her other side, his eyes softening as he looks at Cecilia. We don’t speak for a long while, only her coughs break the silence.

Finally he gets up and grabs the phone. “Seventy-five percent. It’ll do. Got everything you need?”

I give the room a once-over. “Yeah, I think so.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“Yes. We’ve got everything. Let’s do this.”

“After you, then.”

I pull on my jacket and my boots, pick up our sleeping daughter and look up at him. He’s holding the door for me and the little breathing package in a red checkered blanket in my arms.

“Thanks,” I say and take the first step out on the porch. The sky is clear, the light wind nips at my cheeks. I shudder and look up at him. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah.” He lets the door slam shut with a very final sound.

I glance once behind me, wondering if I’ll ever return to this place, and then we both turn toward the blinding whiteness.

Christian tilts his head. “Lead the way.”

The ground is slippery and in my rubber boots, walking becomes a nightmare after a mere few steps. I gasp as I see a dark form lying a few yards to the side. His fur hat has fallen off, and his thick overcoat warms no one. Tears well up in my eyes.

“What do you think happened?” My throat constricts as I’m overwhelmed by sadness. He was such a kind man.

“I have no idea.” Christian stops, and looks between me and Ray, then he walks up to him and pinches the coat. “Fuck.”

“What?”

“I just had a thought. But they’re just as frozen stiff as he is.”

I back up a step. “You wanted to use his clothes? That’s disgusting!”

“He’s got no use for them.” Christian grabs a boot and fights to get it off him without succeeding. “Fuck! It’s stuck like glue!” he roars and drops the leg.

I want to vomit at the sight, and even more at the dull thud when Ray’s leg hits the ground. Christian is a person I’ll never understand fully, that I’ll never want to understand fully.

“Can we please just move on?” I ask faintly.

I swear I hear a near-feral growl from the huge man by my side, and it sends a wave of shivers down my spine. We take off down the road. After ten minutes, I have to stop and catch my breath. My heart slams in my chest and my ankle pounds.

“Christian. It’s far. Four hours is at a normal pace. We’re not looking at four hours.”

“I know,” he says through gritted teeth.

“It’s gonna take us all day.” I nod toward the woods. “There’s a shorter route through there, we’ll have to walk across the mountain, but it’ll take us half the time. The road goes all the way around.”

He squints and studies the tree line. “Are you sure?”

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