Page 119 of Absolution

Thirty-One

Christian

A little voice behind us makes us both flinch. “Mommy, I peeded.”

“Oh, no. Where, baby?” Kerry stands and takes Cecilia’s little hand.

I dart up. “I’ll get some towels.”

On the radio they play “Santa Baby”. The little incident along with the music changes the mood in the room, lightening the heady atmosphere.

When we have finished wiping the couch and the carpet, we pull out some blankets and sit with Cece between us, snacking from a tray on her lap that’s filled with plates of chocolate, figs, raisins, tangerines, roasted chestnuts, slices of pineapple and more. Disney is still celebrating Christmas and I wonder in how many ways it can be done, how many versions there are. This is most certainly one. Ours. Outside it has gone completely dark and I see lights in the distance, a ship in dark water. Like me. I wonder if I’m the light or the ship. Or the darkness.

“It’s getting late for her,” says Kerry. “You think we should eat some more before I put her to… or if you want to put her to bed that’s fine, I mean… I didn’t mean.”

She stutters and blushes. Things are changing between us, almost by the minute, and I need to find my place, where I stand, and she clearly feels the same.

“I don’t know. You hungry Ce?” I ask.

“Choc’late.” She grins.

“I guess not,” I say and shrug as I turn to Kerry.

We remain sitting a little while longer, quietly watching the flickering TV screen and the cartoons’ adventures. Finally, Kerry kisses our daughter goodnight and hugs her until she starts squirming. I feel her eyes on my back when we leave the room.

Tucking in Cecilia, I tell her that she needs to sleep really fast if Santa’s gonna make it. Her eyes go wide, then she nods and squeezes her eyes shut.

When I come back down, Kerry seems to have lost herself in an old black and white movie.

“Classics?”

“Sister Benedict struggles to save her church in “The Bells of St. Mary’s”, she puts a finger to her lips. “Shh.”

I take a detour past the kitchen and pour us some wine. Handing her a glass I then sit next to her. When the end credits start rolling, she turns to me. “That one was amazing. I hadn’t seen it before. How did it go?”

I frown.

“With Cecilia,” she adds.

“Oh, that was easy. I told her she had to go to sleep quickly because Santa only comes when children are sleeping.”

She smiles. “That true?”

I shrug. “Fire’s still burning. You wanna watch TV some more or—”

She stands. “Fire sounds nice.” We cross the large, mostly empty, living room and head for the two comfortable chairs. In hers I’ve placed a small box wrapped in silvery paper. Kerry gasps. “I didn’t bring you anything!”

I nod at the gift. “Open it. Please.”

She carefully peels off the paper and lifts the lid. A beam of brilliant beauty hits my eyes. I take in its beauty, still amazed at my catch. The necklace is made of platinum, Art Deco style, with small diamonds, emeralds and one hanging pearl in an intricate pattern creating a small heart shape.

“I can’t accept this,” she gasps. “It must’ve cost a fortune.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s— it’s so beautiful. But I can’t—” She clutches it, looking as if she’ll never let it go, her eyes wide as she takes it in. “I can’t let you give me this.”

“Why not? It’s not like I have anyone else to buy gifts for except the two of you.”

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