Page 99 of Absolution

Don’t be, I want to say. But I don’t.

We walk up to a group of people. A woman in her sixties with steel gray hair, neatly curled in an old-fashioned look, turns and regards me, giving me a once-over, then she lifts an eyebrow and turns to Christian.

“Bianca,” he says to her. “I want you to meet Kerry Jackson, the mother of Cecilia. Kerry, this is my mother, Bianca Russo.”

I give her my hand. A few moments pass when she doesn’t take it, awkwardness mounting, the whole conversation around us dying.

“Miss Jackson,” she finally says and gives me a too-hard handshake. “I have heard a lot about you.”

It doesn’t sound one bit like she has heard good things about me. Do they blame me for Christian nearly dying? I realize I also almost killed him once before. I have to force my legs not to tremble under her scrutiny.

“Mrs. Russo. So nice to meet you.”

Her black eyes pierce mine, and it’s easy to see the similarities between her and her brother Salvatore, both in looks as well as manner. “I have a grandchild I have yet to see.” She turns to Christian, while still holding my hand.

“Bianca,” he says, his voice cold and hard.

She narrows her eyes, then she lets go and blood returns to my hand. I’m suddenly extremely self-conscious about being here. My eyes move to the other men and women around me. Do they all hate me? Does everyone here know about Christian and me? How much exactly do they know?

In rapid succession I’m introduced to Matteo, Luca, Eric, Anna, Nathan, and Sydney. It’s less tense. There are smiles, and greetings, and congratulations on Cecilia’s behalf, and a lot of ‘we can’t wait to meet her’. I’m trying to remember all the names. It’s overwhelming. The two women greet me a little more heartily. Nathan is polite, but I sense an underlying tension. Eric radiates danger. Much like Christian does when he turns dark. I shrink back and glance at the woman by his side, Anna. She looks so timid, but she’s gotta have balls of steel if she’s chosen to be with him.

Or did she get to choose?

You’re mine. Christian’s words come back to me. Was it the same for her?

We eat. There’s an overabundance of cake, and Italian delicacies that I fail to remember the names of as soon as they’ve been introduced to me. There are games. Lots of laughter. Cecilia is finally properly introduced to her large extended family and finds a little soulmate in Ava, Nathan and Sydney’s little beauty of a daughter.

Christian doesn’t leave my side the whole afternoon. I’m tingling from his presence, constantly aware of him, his scent, his low rumbling voice.

I’m stunned by the change in demeanor in the Russos as the hours pass by. I’ve seen nothing but cruelty, possessiveness, force, but Salvatore seems genuinely fond of the children. I miss David, but I know that with his autism he’d find this crowd too much, so it’s probably the right choice to let him stay at his mom’s. Nathan and Eric don’t leave their women’s sides the whole evening and are constantly attentive to their needs, as if they worship the ground they walk on.

I glance at Christian with a sucking feeling in my chest. Is that how it could be? Would he care that much about me? Our days in the cabin come back to me. He can be tender. He can be beautifully tender and caring.

What am I doing? Why am I fighting this?

Something makes me turn and look behind me. In the doorway in the far end of the room stands a woman with long strawberry blonde hair, cascading down her shoulders, wearing a demure, white dress and white ballerina shoes. My heart stops as our eyes lock.

Chloe.

Chloe!

I rush through the room and throw my arms around her. “Chloe!”

“Kerry?” she gasps and pushes away, taking me in. “Kerry! Oh my God! What are you doing here?”

“Me? What are you doing here? Where have you been? I’ve missed you so much! Your parents! Do they know you’re back? Where have you been?”

“That’s… a very long story. Kerry… are you and Christian…” She chews on her lip and a worried expression crosses her face as she glances over my shoulder. I follow her gaze and see that Christian is studying our interaction, his eyes dark and unreadable.

I beat her up.

Oh no. I look back to Chloe. “No! No, we’re not,” I say quickly.

She looks relieved and my chest clenches. We’re not, but my whole soul yearns for him. How could I betray my friend? I can’t.

“I heard what he did,” I say quietly. “I’m so sorry.”

“That’s a long time ago.”

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