Page 85 of Absolution

Twenty-One

Christian

Ivan drives fast, but he knows what he’s doing. Salvatore is on the phone more than half the drive, then he turns and looks at Kerry and me.

“We’ll get her back today. They called my lawyer and made a ransom demand.”

“We have to pay them,” gasps Kerry.

Both Luci and I look at her with pity. She doesn’t know how we solve things in this family. When the sun sets there’ll be no one left of Richter’s men, and the man himself will be hanging in the meat locker in one of our restaurants, being skinned alive. I’ll gladly do it myself.

I hold Kerry tight and, despite her trembling, I feel how she calms a little in my embrace. I know very well the last words that were said between us, I have agonized over them the whole day, clueless as to how to fix this. I can’t undo what I’ve done, the ways I’ve hurt her, all I can do is keep trying to redeem myself.

“We’ll get your daughter back, Kerry,” says Salvatore. “Trust me. Trust your man,” he nods at me. “Can you do that? You did good, calling me.”

She exhales, her dark green eyes darting between me and Luci. “What if they’ve hurt her?” Her lower lip trembles and her voice is shaky.

“They have no reason to, Ker,” I say. “She’s too little, they won’t have to worry about her being a witness against them, they’ve made a demand, and that is a good thing. She’s alive, she’s not hurt, and we’ll get her back before you know it.”

I don’t know for sure that what I’m saying is true, but my insides are nothing but a black void of raw fear and I have to hold on to something or I’ll fall into it and be of no use to anyone. My heart pounds so hard that my pulse roars in my ears. Cecilia’s little, warm, trusting shape is etched into my arms, and it feels as if the ghost of her sits on my lap. I’ve never felt such a physical sensation of something that isn’t there. I remember how I clutched for her when she was no longer in my arms, as I tumbled into the cold water in that river, but that was different, nothing like how it feels now.

Emptiness can be palpable.

Kerry weeps. I swallow against the lump in my throat.

“The police?” asks Kerry. “Are they looking?”

Salvatore glances over his shoulder. “Of course. They’re doing their part. They report directly to me. If they learn something, I’ll know it in a minute.”

I look down at her, at her confused expression, then at how it dawns on her. Her mouth shapes into an O, and she doesn’t answer. Kerry knows better than most that we have contacts in the San Francisco Police Department. Lots of contacts who get paid well to do what we tell them.

When we make our way into Salvatore’s mansion Carmen, the young mother of Salvatore’s son David, comes rushing, her face laced with concern. She grabs Kerry’s free hand. I’m holding the other one, and Kerry hasn’t tried to pull out of my grip, which secretly pleases me in the midst of it all.

“I heard!” Carmen looks up at me, her eyes flashing. The curvy little Colombian rarely comes into Salvatore’s house. She lives with her husband Lucas in the house next door, David living mostly with them, so for her to be here, she’s really engaged.

“Kerry,” she says, catching Kerry’s attention who now stares at Carmen, almost as if she’s looking but not seeing her, “we don’t know each other, but I think we spoke on the phone once, a long time ago. I’m David’s mom.”

Kerry’s eyes dart between me and Carmen, then she nods. “I remember.”

“Let me take care of her,” Carmen says and turns to me as she narrows her eyes. “You go do what you do best, and…” she chews on her lip before she continues, her deep brown eyes darkening, “do it well. No one fucks with this family!”

The vengeful words take me by surprise, Carmen loathes what the rest of us do, I’ve felt her distaste more than my share, and she stays way out of the business. Her husband once worked for Salvatore, but now he teaches high school, and they’re just two, seemingly normal, people who happen to live in somewhat abnormal circumstances. I shouldn’t be that surprised, though. Carmen is a lioness when needed. She once beat Salvatore at his own game. There’s a fire in her and right now it blazes red hot, scorching anyone who would dare to get in her way.

I give Kerry a squeeze. “Go with her. I have things to do. Don’t worry.”

Kerry scoffs, her face swollen, her eyes glossed and red-tinged with fresh tears hanging in her eyelashes. “Do what you need to do,” she says, her voice broken. “Bring back Cecilia.”

I know that she knows what she’s asking. She’s giving me permission to be the monster she hates, the demon she fears. She’s asking me to be everything that I am, to use everything I’ve learned throughout life, to annihilate the ones who threaten our little dysfunctional family of three.

And I will.

“Go with Carmen, hon.” I lean in and give her a quick kiss on the head, inhaling her scent, her vanilla and strawberry scented soap, mixed with the sweet essence that is Kerry herself. Oozing off her is also a dank smell of sweat, of fear, of agony.

Carmen lays her arm around Kerry’s shoulders. Kerry holds my eyes one moment longer, then she leans in and listens to whatever it is Carmen says. That gaze stabs right through my chest. I follow them with my eyes until the front door falls closed behind them. Carmen will look after her. She is one of the most capable people I know, and that’s really saying something in my family. Carmen is fiercely loyal to the ones she feels need her protection, and it’s clear she just included Kerry in that.

It means I can focus.

It means I can push Kerry to the back of my mind, resting in the knowledge that she’s as good as she can be in these circumstances.

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