Page 74 of Absolution

I groan and wipe my cheeks. Cecilia is up in her room, transfixed by cartoons, and hasn’t noticed anything, thank God. I have twenty minutes until my friends arrive, I have to pull myself together, wash my face, change clothes. I’m gonna have fun tonight. My life might be shit, but I won’t let it destroy the few windows of light-hearted fun I get to have.

I sway a little as I hug Gayle and Rebecca goodbye. I refused to let the call from Evan ruin my evening, even though it has been nagging at the back of my mind, but by God, it did make me drink a couple of glasses of wine I shouldn’t have. My mind is pleasantly buzzed, and I feel light, carefree.

On Friday, Gayle is taking me to one of her concerts. She wanted to set me up with a date, but that’s not happening. She doesn’t know Christian is alive and back in town, and I’ll keep her safe from that knowledge for as long as I possibly can, because it’s my burden to carry and no one else’s. It’ll be fun, though. I really look forward to seeing her on stage.

Locking the door behind them, I start up the stairs, stopping when the doorbell rings. Did they forget something? I sail down and quickly twist open the locks, swinging the door open.

It’s not Gayle, and it’s not Rebecca.

A tall, hulking figure stands in my doorway, his eyes pitch black, his hair hanging in unruly tresses over his forehead.

Christian Russo.

‘Did you fuck a Russo, Ker?’

‘You are.’

I scream and try to shut the door, but he slams a palm against it and stops the movement. I don’t know why. He’s been here before. It’s only Christian, but something is different tonight. Something about him screams danger.

“I’m going to bed,” I gasp. “It’s not—”

“Perfect,” he says darkly, spits out a toothpick and invades the hallway with his looming presence, pushing the door shut behind him.

I’m unable to move, and he’s standing way too close.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

“Kerry,” he says as he raises a hand, letting it follow the contour of my head, my shoulder, my arm, but without touching me, setting the air between us on fire. “I can’t stay away anymore. I won’t.”

“What are you saying?” I manage to croak, while it feels as if my insides liquefy.

Christian leans in, I take a step back, he follows, I hit the wall and jump from the abrupt stop, glancing around me for an escape. He slams his palms to the wall, one on either side of my head. He smells of whisky and sandalwood with a slight hint of citrus to it. His scent does me in. It always does.

“You know fucking well what I’m saying. I’m done playing.”

“I didn’t know we were playing,” I whisper, transfixed by his dark gaze.

“Trust me. I’m not one for games.” He leans in, his eyes level with mine, his breath hot on my lips. “Don’t move.”

His mouth descends on mine and my knees buckle with instant, primal need I had forgotten was ever there. He coaxes my mouth open, pushing his chest against mine, trapping me. I push back, the instinct to keep defending myself against this man so deeply rooted in me after nearly three years of fleeing.

“Christian.”

“Shut up.”

“No! Chr—”

“Not a word, Kerry.”

His hand moves to my throat and I inhale raggedly, tensing up, then it caresses down along my vulnerable neck, taking a moment to trace my collar bone before he cups my breast, roughly, tight, bordering on painful.

I squirm and don’t quite know what to do with myself. I know what’s happening. There’s no doubt in my mind why he’s here, and there’s no one who can help me, who can interrupt us. It’s two a.m. and I’m slightly dizzy from the wine, even though I woke up good when he showed up. My body is responding to his even though my numbed mind screams danger.

His hand descends along my stomach, following the curve of my hip, down along the outside of my thigh where he begins to bunch my dress in his hand, pulling it up.

His mouth is still devouring mine, and the hunger for him grows as the tips of his fingers suddenly meet with the naked skin on my thigh.

My legs barely carry me. “Christian,” I mumble. I don’t know anymore if I’m trying to object or if I want him to go on.

---