Page 62 of Absolution

He hangs his head. “I don’t want to die,” he whispers. “They’ll kill me.”

“Who is he?”

“He’s not a good guy. Better if you don’t know his name.”

An awful suspicion makes my heart suddenly slam in my chest, making the room tilt.

“Evan! Tell me his name! You have to tell me his name!”

“Charlie. It’s Charlie Richter, Ker. He owns casinos in Vegas, a bunch of them. He’s loaded. And dangerous.”

I don’t know any Richter, and it seems I should be happy for it. Leaning back in my chair, I exhale with relief. For a moment, I was so sure it was Salvatore. Not that I know if he has a daughter eligible for marriage, but I was just so damn sure.

“Mommy! More!” Cecilia pulls at my sleeve, pointing at the crumbled remains of the muffin.

“Sure,” I say absentmindedly.

“Evan… the alimony.”

“I’ll pay it,” he says quickly. “You were the only good thing that ever happened in my life. I will honor our agreement.”

“Where does the money come from?”

“It’s… from the loan.” He winces and looks down at his hands. They’re clutched into tight fists, his knuckles white.

Suddenly I feel genuinely sorry for him. We did have good times. We were friends once, laughed, shared our lives.

“Evan. I don’t want the rest. Please stop paying. I’ll talk to my lawyer and put it on paper.”

A slight relief lightens his features. “No, I insist. It’s not your fault.”

“Evan! Don’t you see? I don’t want dirty money! I won’t take it.” My life is so full of dirt anyway. I wade in it. I don’t want to be involved in even more. “Since how long?”

“How long what?”

“When did you steal from the firm?”

“Kerry—”

“When?”

“It’s… about three years ago.”

I shake my head. Poor, stupid Evan. “I’ll pay you back every dime since that moment. Maybe that will help some? With this Richter?”

Evan winces.

“You borrowed much more?”

He scoffs. “Yeah,” he says on an exhale. “A lot more.”

Clenching my jaw, I fight down the anger that wells up in me. “No matter if it helps or not, I don’t want that money. If you won’t take it, I’ll give it away to charity.”

Evan suddenly leans forward, grabs one of my hands and kisses it. “You’re amazing. You always were amazing. You’re so wise, and good, and kind, and—”

I scoff inwardly, bitterly. I am so not wise. I’m so incredibly stupid. But that’s nothing I’ll share with Evan.

“I need to go.” I stand and grab a napkin, wiping off the crumbs from around Cecilia’s mouth. Her hands are sticky and she puts her fingers in her mouth, sucking them.

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