Page 105 of Absolution

My heart pounds. “I’m sorry, I—”

“Don’t be. It’ll be all right.”

“Christian,” I lay a hand over one of his, and pull it back when I realize what I just did. He looks at his hand, and then scans my face. “Can you let me know when you wanna come by? It’s driving me insane never knowing if you’ll suddenly show up. Call me, text me, whatever.”

“Sure,” he says. Just like that. All this time, all I had to do was to ask.

“Maybe we should talk a little more often?” I say. “People do that. Or so I hear.”

He laughs his warm, rich laugh, his eyes twinkling. “I had no idea. I never knew any normal people.”

“What about your family? You never talk about them. Your sister, your brothers?”

“Oh, they’re not normal.”

“Are they also in… the business?” His silence tells me everything. I shake my head. “You never stood a chance, did you?”

“My sister isn’t,” he says. “She stays away. Look, I made a choice. Every person makes a choice and you gotta own up to who you are. I’m not gonna put the blame on anyone else.”

“That sounds… very mature.”

Christian laughs. “I’m forty fucking years old. I hope I’ve learned some shit along the way.”

“I’ll be thirty next year. Time flies, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. What do you wanna do for your big three oh?”

“I have no idea. It’s a little early, don’t you think? What did you do when you turned forty?”

“I was here, putting our daughter to bed.”

I stare at him. “You’re kidding. Why didn’t you say something?”

“I never imagined it mattered to you.”

I’m stunned. Why would he think that? Does he think I hate him? Is that why he’s been so cold?

I say it quick, before I change my mind.

“Wanna come by Friday? I’ll cook something for us? We can watch a movie with Cece?”

My heart leaps to my throat. Did I just invite Christian back in? For real? Like to not only hang with Cece but… with me?

It’s as if time stands still. Something shifts. The world goes absolutely silent.

“Friday it is,” he says.

As he stands to leave, I suddenly find it hard to look at him. I usher him out of the door. “Yep. See ya.”

After he’s gone, I fall back against the wall, my mind spinning, my heart slamming in my chest. All I wanted to do was to grab him, hold him, and never let him leave again.

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