Page 69 of Lich's Mate

But convincing myself to see beyond this moment, when I’ll soon be watching her carriage depart, is incredibly taxing.

How could I live in the hollow halls of this mansion again, with nobody left for company? I can already feel them tugging at my sanity preemptively.

But even before I met Meera, I was certain that my life was missing something. Now that she’s leaving it for real, and I’ve known exactly what was absent in my life, how can I legitimately part with it?

Every passing moment fills me with dread. There’s still so much uncertainty lingering in the air.

Am I really doing the right thing? Is she safer away from me than with me?

If she winds up getting injured because of a mistake I made, I’m not sure I could live with myself.

The roads seem far more foreboding than the walls of this home. Roving bandits thrive in them, and there are captors far less scrupulous, who would gladly take Meera under their ownership illegally.

I’m doing a lot of this on blind faith.

Running my hands along the banister, I bring myself up to the next floor, where I hear Meera rummaging around.

I watch as she stuffs as much as she can into her luggage, crouching down beside her bed.

“Can I do anything to help?”

She nearly jumps several feet.

Her head swivels to look up at me.

“I mean, I’ll probably need your help hauling this downstairs,” she says. “But I’m good for now.”

I nod, just content to watch her as she returns to packing.

I want to cherish every moment of her in this house. I’d love to cuddle up next to her, just feeling her against me one more time, but I know that time will come.

Soon, I’ll be able to give her a proper goodbye. Right now, she’s preparing.

It was hard enough convincing her to leave the mansion.

There are still rooms I could hide her in—secret passages under this mansion, leading nowhere, and hidden hallways that lead everywhere in the mansion.

But it’s not enough.

From the time I was young, when this was my parent’s house, I’ve always treasured the magic of this place. And I’m glad that I’ve been able to share it with her in return, to give her a glimpse of the privileged life I enjoyed.

It’s been so brief though. I always thought we’d be able to enjoy our journey together much longer.

How long has it been? Mere weeks? Months?

Our time together has felt so long, and yet so short.

Get yourself together.

My cold and calm exterior is beginning to fade. I feel myself losing a grip on the strength and intimidation I project, and I realize that even a moment of vulnerability is ample time for my enemies to sneak in and unravel me.

And I can’t let that happen. Not when I need to be strong for Meera.

I pace aimlessly through the hallways, polishing suits of armor for almost no reason. Perhaps it’s to pass the time so that I don’t have to deal with the oppressive burden of our inevitable parting.

I want her out of the mansion. I want to take this dagger my enemies have lodged in me and rip it out if only to get it over with.

If she’s going to leave, I hope that it’s soon, so that I no longer have to bear what I know is coming.

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