Page 59 of Lich's Mate

Every step brings me closer to an unfathomable destiny, the staircase much longer than I remember.

So Gorran’s really not that big of a threat anymore.

I know Kavian is playing up the danger because he likes to stay twelve steps ahead of everything. I actually think I admire his work ethic.

But there’s a relief to his voice that hasn’t been there in a long time, probably not for the entire time I’ve known him. Whereas before, everything had an undeclared urgency, as though Gorran was at the gates and could breach through at any minute, now I think he’s finally finding peace.

“And that means I don’t have to be here anymore,” I whisper.

I reach up, touching one of the suits of armor as I leave the staircase. I’m surprised to find a few droplets of moisture on one spaulder, and the slightest hint of dust on the other.

It pains me to say it. But I was really only here for this one mission against Gorran.

He’s shown me his other operations—his future plans. And every step of the way, he’s made it clear that I’m not essential to them.

They’re on other continents, in distant cities with names I’ve never heard and can barely pronounce. They’re far from New Solas.

But he made it clear that this mission was crucial, I think. This mission changed the tide.

I step into the wooden office, looking at the stacked desk full of weathered parchment.

If I stepped out the door now, would he even stop me? Wouldn’t I be perfectly fine to leave now?

I crack a smile.

My freedom, away from this place, away from Kavian, and away from everything I’ve ever known, is both tempting and menacing. It’s a burdensome question mark, left dangling but invisible.

“I’d probably be trampled,” I say aloud.

For hours, I consider the door that’s opened to me, knowing that I’m nothing to Gorran and that the only few who could care about my presence are dead.

The door is just down the staircase, about three hundred steps away.

I lie awake in bed, despite being almost completely consumed by my exhaustion.

I desperately want to sleep. I should be at peace.

But as Kavian presses into the bed next to me and his arms envelop me, my doubts are given physical form.

Ink is still on his fingers, rubbed off from his maps and scrolls.

He drifts off to sleep quickly, his snores filling the room.

And I find myself smiling again. Only, I realize, this smile feels authentic.

I lean into his embrace.

How could I leave this behind?

His arms are delicate, his touch tender.

Despite being a giant of a creature, who could engulf Aerasak in shadow if he wanted, he’s chosen me.

I’d probably be trampled, I think again to myself.

If I left this mansion, where would I possibly go? What would I possibly find that could be better than this?

Probably nothing.

---