Page 78 of From Fling to Ring

I send a frantic text to the girls.

911. Emergency. Now.

Holy shit. You preggos or something?

Don’t ask stupid questions. I’m freaking out here

Whatevs. Your place? 8pm

Yes. And don’t bring ice cream. Last time I almost barfed

Fine. I’ll bring carrot stix

You suck. Bring chocolate

Your wish is my command

“Things were going great. Like I was pretty sure he was going to give-me-a-drawer, great.”

Gilly rolls her eyes at me. “Why do you judge all relationships by that criteria? What if the guy simply does not have an extra dresser drawer to spare? Or what if he doesn’t even have a dresser? Like he just uses Ikea bins or milk crates or something?”

Petal turns up her nose. “If a guy our age is still using crap like that, I’d run in the other direction, fast.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re married. Personally, I don’t care about a guy’s furniture. I’d just be happy to meet the kind of guy I want to do more than just hit it with,” Gilly says.

“Gills, you’re not meeting the kind of guys you want because you spend too much time at the nightclub,” I say.

“Geez. You make it sound like I’m hanging out on skid row or something.”

I shrug. “Well, the club is in the Tenderloin.”

“Well,” she says, moving a piece of her Marilyn Monroe hair off her forehead, “I’m not sure how else I’m supposed to meet guys.”

“It’s hard if you don’t like online dating, Gills. That leaves you with grocery stores and the gym,” Petal says, breaking off a corner of the fancy salted caramel chocolate she picked up on her way over.

“You know I’m not the type to go to the gym,” Gilly says, “and I don’t really go to the grocery store, either.”

“If you ate something other than takeout, you’d end up in a grocery store.”

She considers this. “I guess I could go to one. Just walk around with a cart, throw a few things in it. I don’t actually have to buy anything.”

She gazes out my window at the ugly building next door while considering this.

“You do you, Gills. But hey, guys, we’re here for me. This is my emergency meeting. Sorry if I’m a selfish bitch, but I’m in trouble.”

Petal jumps to her feet. “Oh. My. God. I KNEW you were pregnant!”

She runs over to where I’m sitting on the floor and puts a hand on my tummy.

I push her away. “Get off, I told you, I’m not pregnant.”

“Are you surrrrre?” she asks, squinting like she wants to catch me in a lie.

“Please, just shut up for a minute. I am not preggers. But this does have to do with Tyler.”

Gilly shimmies her shoulders, and her cleavage nearly pops out of her low-cut blouse. “Spill it, girl. I bet he has a miraculous tongue. Huh?”

She looks so hopeful, I almost want to answer her.

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