Page 59 of From Fling to Ring

I nod. “Exactly. Do you read it?”

Shit. I should not have asked that question. He is absolutely not our target market.

He gives me the so-so hand motion. “I did once. It’s not so much my thing, with the articles about bong shops and where to get assless leather chaps.”

I stifle a laugh. He is absolutely correct.

“Dad, they are called cannabis dispensaries. A bong is something you smoke it with.”

“Yeah, fine. I guess you’re the expert. Young people these days know all that stuff, but my age group? We just stick with beer. Although I did try the wacky weed once. One of my poker buddies found it in his kid’s dresser. Of course he confiscated it and brought it to us guys.”

“Dad, you don’t have to?—”

“Don’t worry, Ty. I’m not about to become a druggie from using marijuana once. Jesus, I feel like a bad kid getting in trouble.”

Tyler sighs with frustration, but the truth is, I can see he’s loving the family banter.

I know I am.

“So do you like your work there at the paper, Lucy? I imagine you write for them. You seem like a smart cookie.”

I nod. “I am a writer, yes. I cover… all sorts of topics for the paper, whatever my boss wants me to. Sometimes I come up with ideas of my own though.”

Like setting your son up as a dick-head fuckboy.

“Oh yeah? That’s sounds neat. What are you working on now?” he asks.

Everyone looks at me with great interest so I decide to do some entertaining. By the time I am done telling them about my dirty bathroom assignment, they’re rolling with laughter, and magically, the assignment doesn’t seem quite as bad as it did a minute ago.

“I have to hand it to you Lucy, you’re a good sport. That is one crappy job.” Mr. Brooks drops his head back and roars with laughter at his joke.

“Good one, Dad. You’re probably the first person to come up with that,” Tyler says.

Mr. Brooks continues to crack up and when he finally catches his breath, has to wipe tears from his eyes.

I’m ready to ask him to adopt me right now.

Ruby leans on the table with her elbows. “Dad, did Tyler tell you I helped him pick out a pretty dress at Saks for Lucy, for some fancy party they had to go to?”

Mr. Brooks’s eyes widen as he looks at Tyler. “Saks? You mean that fancy-pants place on Union Square? Can’t say I’ve ever been in there. Looks too nice for me. I pretty much stick to the Macy’s annual men’s sale and even then only go when I have one of those coupons they’re always giving out.”

Now it’s Tyler’s turn. “Dad, when have you ever been in Macy’s?”

Mr. Brooks leans toward him. “Son, you don’t know everything about me. I have all sorts of secrets.” At this, he bellows with more laughter and I swear, I can’t remember the last time I felt this happy.

“I’m also working on a book,” I blurt out.

His eyes widen and he turns to Tyler. “Would you listen to that? You got yourself someone with big ambition here. And what kind of book are you writing, Lucy?”

Why did I open my big mouth?

“Um, well, it will be a sort of self-help book.”

“What kind of self-help book?” Ruby asks.

“I’m still… thinking it through. But you know, maybe something about relationships.” I steal a glance at Tyler, who’s looking right back at me with great interest.

Mr. Brooks slams his hand on the table. “I’ll tell ya what, Lucy, I promise to be first in line to read your book, whatever it’s about.”

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