Page 63 of Last Boy

Turning me to face him, he cups my cheek and kisses me. “You’re fucking killing me, Poppyseed. Ruining me for anyone else.”

I freeze, looking at his disheveled hair and his rising chest as he tries to catch his breath. “Walker…I don’t want you to marry someone else,” I croak. “You can’t.”

“I know,” he whispers, not giving me anything else besides those two insignificant words. “Let’s go to bed. I want to hold you.”

Why is he avoiding talking about this? Is it because he knows he’ll never get out of this deal and the time in this hotel is really the end for us?

God, I hope not.

Walker

“You can’t avoid talking about it forever, you know,” Poppy says softly against my side. “Eventually, the day is going to come for you to go marry this girl.”

Right after we fucked, she brought it up. And being the coward that I am, I couldn’t bear to talk about it, so I tried to shut it down. But she’s right. It’s not going away. She deserves to know everything about this other girl and the deal. It’s the least I can give her.

“I know,” I whisper into the semi-dark room. “I guess I just keep thinking if I don’t talk about it, it’ll go away. Which is stupid for me to even think because my uncle isn’t the type to not collect debts.”

“Why does your uncle care if you marry this girl or not? If Briar is marrying into the family already, isn’t that enough?” She shrugs her slender shoulders. “Why drag you into it?”

“Because in Beckett’s eyes, it gives him more control. He’s always been able to control my sister. But me? Not so much.”

“Until now,” she mutters. “All because of me.”

I tighten my grip around her. “I will gladly take the wrath of my uncle and all his stipulations if it means that I get to make it right with you, Poppyseed.” I run my fingertips on the bare skin of her back. “Since I left you, thoughts of you on that sidewalk have haunted me every single day. But that wasn’t nearly as bad as thinking that you were in danger all those years.” I sigh. “At least this way, we’re leaving on a good note, and I’ll know that you’re safe because these lowlifes will be taken care of.”

“Yeah, probably just in time for Ron to suddenly get out of jail,” she says with a laugh, but it’s laced with sadness.

She doesn’t know that I’ve been keeping tabs on her father since I left. He still has a year to serve in prison. But once he gets out, I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to reconnect with Poppy.

Just thinking about it, I ball my hands up, and my nails dig into my palms. Whatever I can do to make sure that doesn’t happen, I will. I might have to be married to someone else, but I’ll always protect Poppy first.

When I don’t say anything, she carries on. “I understand why you left, Walker. Back then, I was being selfish, and the only thing I could focus on was the pain of losing you. But now, I get it.” She kisses my flesh. “I’m going to be okay. But it’s not fair that your life is being dictated by someone else. You deserve so much more than that.”

“Yeah,” I utter under my breath before glancing down at her just as she angles her head upward. “What about you? What happened to Juilliard? I thought that was your dream.”

It’s almost as though her body stiffens at the mention of her dream school. And I feel her sighing before her lips part, and she answers, “I didn’t end up applying there.”

“Why the hell not?” I can’t stop how annoyed I sound, which isn’t a good thing because, with Poppy, I need to remember to tread lightly.

“I mean, when it came time to apply, Jake was still living in the trailer with all of us, waiting to hear back about the housing program he had applied for. I couldn’t just leave him, you know?” She stops for a few seconds, looking away from me. “Van had gotten himself into drugs, and I couldn’t leave Jake with Ron. So, I applied here. And I got in.”

Brushing some loose strands of hair from her face, I exhale slowly. “You deserve to follow your dreams, Poppy. You are allowed that.”

She’s colder now, her body more rigid. “I probably wouldn’t have gotten in anyway, so what’s it matter now? This is a good program, and I can go visit Jake—in his very own place—anytime I want.” She looks up at me again, clearly begging for a change of topic. “Well, I can once this crazy hockey player guy stops holding me hostage.”

I force myself to chuckle, but only to appease her. Deep down, I keep thinking about how much this girl has given up. And how I’d give anything…anything at all, to watch her dreams come true.

Even if I can’t be next to her while it happens.

17

Poppy

I watch the screen before dunking the crab rangoon on my fork into the duck sauce, slathering it with an ungodly amount, and shoving it into my mouth. I love Chinese food, but it’s not something I get to have very often. Eating out at restaurants or getting takeout isn’t something I can afford. But Walker must have given Hudson instructions on what I would want to eat while he was away because, judging from the vegetable lo mein, crab rangoons, and a crap ton of duck sauce, someone gave him some pointers. Someone named Walker.

Walker left for his game in Ohio early yesterday morning. He wasn’t planning on waking me up, but I set my own alarm so that I wouldn’t miss wishing him luck. My good luck ended up in a morning quickie, which made it even harder for me to say good-bye to him. The good news is that I have a ton of classwork since I’ve been out, so his being gone has given me more than enough time to complete that.

The Wolves won last night’s game, and even though they are currently down by one, I know this game is far from over.

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