Page 40 of Last Boy

“Okay,” she whispers. “I understand.”

I take my hands off her body, and she climbs back into the passenger seat and smooths her clothes down.

“Where do you want to take him? Are you going to take him home with you? Or…did you have somewhere in mind?”

She looks shocked before she laughs. “Ummm…I love my brother. But, no, he’s not coming home with me.” She glances in the backseat at the box of his ashes. “I just want him to be somewhere where he’s happy.” She sighs. “I’m just not sure where that would be.”

I think back to when we were kids. “I have an idea. But we’re going to go get Jake too.”

She looks unsure, looking from the box to me.

“Just trust me, Poppy. This one time. Okay?”

Slowly, her head bobs up and down. “Okay.”

“This is perfect,” Poppy whispers before turning toward me. “I can’t believe you remembered this place.”

I look around before nodding once. “Of course I did. Your brother was so sure that this would make the perfect spot for a restaurant one day.” I laugh, pointing at the small pond. “He said he’d have paddleboats in the pond and a big ol’ porch where people could sit and eat while enjoying the view.” I feel my heart squeeze. “He wanted to name it Van’s Tomorrow.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and she tucks her hands into her pockets. “He always said, one day, our tomorrow really will only be one day away. And we’ll get out of Sunset Drive.” She looks around. “Now, he’s out of that place. For good.”

The land we brought his ashes to is only three miles away from where we grew up, but it is so much different from Sunset Drive because it’s on the nicer side of town. And the first time we rode our bikes by it, Van stopped and said it would one day be his restaurant.

Putting her arm around Jake, she rests her head against his. “What do you think, J? Is this a good spot for Van to reside?”

Looking up, he gazes out toward the pond before he drops his hand down and squeezes his sister’s hand. “I think…it’s perfect.”

Her lips turn up in a small, sad smile. And she nods. “Me too, J. Me too.”

Eventually, he releases her hand, heads toward where she set the urn on the grass, and picks it up. Her eyes find mine, and I can feel her pain like it’s my own. But behind her gaze, I also see something else. Something that I can’t place. Hope maybe? Or relief.

Taking a few steps to the huge tree, she kneels down and begins to spread his ashes.

“I hope you’re up there, running that restaurant. Just like you always wanted,” she whispers. “You are not a loser, Van. You’re my family. My brother. And I love you.” She sniffles. “So much.”

Walking next to her, I kneel beside her and put my hand on the urn while she has it tipped. “I wish that things had been different. I wish you were here, right now, opening a restaurant right here.” I wipe my eyes. “I love you, man. Say hi to my parents for me.”

Jake’s next to sit down on the grass beside us. “I wish you’d gotten to see my apartment. I think you would have liked it,” he says softly before his voice dips lower. “I promise I’ll make sure that he takes care of P.” He pauses before slightly stuttering, “I miss you, Van. I love you.”

I glance at Poppy, but she stares down at the urn. Her chest rises and falls faster, and I see the tears gathering in her eyes. Being here today is a gift. And I’m so thankful she allowed me to do this.

Poppy

Walker pulls into my driveway, and I unbuckle my seat belt. After spreading Van’s ashes, we took Jake out to dinner, and everything seemed sort of…normal. Well, almost. It just wasn’t the same without Briar and Van. And at dinner, I learned that Briar isn’t really the same. She’s been molded into what her uncle and his wife convinced her to be. That makes me sad because I loved her the way she was.

I chew my lip nervously. “Thank you, Walker.” I tuck my hair behind my ear and peek over at him. “For paying for Van’s cremation and for finding the perfect place to lay him to rest.” I pause. “And for making this day a bit easier. Especially on Jake.”

“Poppy, I, uh…I wouldn’t have missed it.” He nods slowly. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass and see that I wasn’t the victim here. I guess I just needed to be mad at someone, and y’all got stuck with the job.” He swallows. “What Jake said—that he’ll make sure I take care of you? Well, he’s right. Because I will.” He looks down. “I should have never stopped.”

“It’s not your job to take care of me, Walker.” I shrug. “It never was your job. It’s my job.”

“It became my job that first day we met when we were six and I could tell your father was hurting you when I saw your bruises and the cut on your lip,” he rasps. “I knew right then that the only job I ever wanted was just to keep you safe.” He looks up again, his face strained. “And then I failed. But I won’t do that again. I promise. So, whatever you need, tell me. Please, Poppy. I want to make it right. I want to be your best friend again and be there for you when you need me.”

When he reaches over, brushing his thumb across my cheek, I suck in a breath. It would be so easy to give in to him right now. It’s all I want to do. But I know that I’m still grieving the loss of my brother, and even though I had a great day with Walker, that doesn’t mean everything between us is fine because it isn’t.

“I just need some time to process everything that’s happened. With Van. With…us. All of it,” I utter. “I’m not in the best headspace right now.”

“I understand,” he says, his deep voice stretching across the truck cab, vibrating my chest. “But I’m still going to be around. If you need me, I’ll never be far. Okay?”

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