Page 60 of Last Boy

“I saw him,” he whispers. “Just days before he died. I saw him.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he squeezes his eyes shut. “He wasn’t the Van I’d known my entire life. But still, I could have hugged him. I could have fucking dragged him away from the trailer and forced him to get help.”

I watch a tear and then another run down his cheeks.

“Instead, I didn’t do a fucking thing. And now, he’s dead. He’s fucking dead.” He glances at me for a split second, grimacing. “He’s dead, and you were attacked.” He stops, and I can feel his sadness. “All I do is fail you, Poppy.”

It’s like seeing my best friend again. Like he never left me. Or us. And suddenly, I’m in his lap. My body might hurt, but I don’t care because my bruises aren’t nearly as deep or painful as the history between us.

Cupping his face, I force him to look up at me. “It’s okay, Walker. I know I’ve said things, but the truth is, it wasn’t your job to keep him safe.” I swallow. “It wasn’t mine either.” I dip my forehead closer to his. “I understand the guilt. Trust me, I do. The last time I saw my brother…I…” I pause, my voice cutting out. “I called him a loser. I told him he was just like our dad.” My lip trembles. “I’d give anything to take that back. To not let that be the last words I spoke.”

Bringing my lips closer to his, I look him in the eyes. “He forgives you. I know he does.”

“But do you, Poppy?” he croaks. “Do you forgive me?”

I feel my heart stop, but gently, I nod. “Yes,” I whisper against his lips. “Do you forgive me?”

“You’ve done nothing that needs to be forgiven,” he utters. “I’m just sorry it took me so long to understand that.” He swallows. “I needed someone to blame. And I guess…you were that person.”

Something has been weighing heavy on my mind since I first heard about whatever deal he made with his uncle.

“I want to move on from the past, but you’re keeping secrets,” I whisper. “I need to know what deal you made to keep me safe.” Gently, I press my lips to his. “Please, Walker, talk to me.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he whispers. “You’ll be better off without me anyway, Poppy.” He brushes my uninjured cheek. “You can do anything you set your mind to. I hope you know that.”

“Talk to me,” I plead, my eyes blurring with tears.

He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, and I pull back enough to look down at him, still straddling his lap.

“There’s this family in Italy. Two brothers, both very powerful and very rich.” He stops, blowing out every ounce of air from his lungs, it seems. “One has a son. The other, a daughter.” He swallows, making his Adam’s apple bob.

The silence in the room is suffocating, and I hold my breath, waiting for his next words.

“Briar is engaged to the son. And I…well, soon, I’m going to be engaged to the brother’s daughter.” He looks down. “It was the only way I knew you’d be safe. My uncle has resources. And a lot of money. And a shit ton of connections. But everything, Poppy—every single thing when it comes to that man—has a price.”

As quickly as my body will allow me to, I scurry from his lap. Backing up to the wall, I rake my hands down my hair. The swelling from having my hair yanked hurts, but nothing like this news does.

“Walker,” I croak, “how could you make a deal like that? You’re here with me. Buying me clothes, making sure I take my meds. And what? You’re going to marry someone else?” I sob, holding my chest. “All to…what? Keep me safe?”

When he stands, slowly walking toward me, I suck in a shaky breath.

“I’d rather be in danger than ever see the day you marry someone else.” I say the words I’ve felt my entire life. “I have loved you forever, Walker. How could you do this?”

I can’t breathe. My chest is burning, and I feel like someone is squeezing my lungs, clenching their hold tighter and tighter.

“Because I’ve fucking loved you forever too, Poppy. And not as a friend,” he growls, and my heart pumps harder before squeezing. “I couldn’t take the chance of something else bad happening.” He throws his arms around my waist. “Not to you.”

When I look up at him, it’s like a thousand memories flash through my mind. All of him and me. Back when, even though life sucked…it didn’t seem impossible, not like it does right now. I’m losing him again. But this time, it’s for good. It’s forever.

He’s going to marry someone. Someone who isn’t me.

“I can’t be here.” I crash my hands into his chest before slipping out of his hold. “Just go. Call it off. Let me leave.”

As I march into the kitchen, he rushes in front of me, blocking the door. “You’re not fucking leaving, Poppyseed. We’re in this now. It’s a done deal.”

“So, what?” I cry like a pathetic idiot. “We just spend the next week pretending like everything isn’t about to change? Like…any of it is going to matter once we leave this hotel?”

“If the most I get with you in this life is this week, Poppy, then I’ll take it,” he utters. “Will it make it harder to leave? Yeah. Will it hurt you more than help? Probably.” He reaches for me, gently touching my chin. “But I’m being a selfish prick right now because all I want is you.”

All at once, I lurch toward him, my lips on his. The second my cut stings is the same time he pulls back.

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