Page 24 of Last Boy

“For what?” I whisper, knowing exactly what she means.

Resting her head on mine, she sighs. “For being nice. For not being an asshole. And for choosing to believe in the good over the bad. You’re growing.”

I swallow, inhaling a long breath and letting it out. Maybe I am.

I’m doing my best to just…what’s that saying? Let it be? I mean, Jake called me yesterday, thrilled because Walker had come and seen his house. And then he took him to lunch. I’m happy for Jake. Really, I am. But I guess I’m envious too. Because between them, things have seemingly just gone back to normal.

But if my brother is happy, I will be happy for him too.

My peaceful moment is quickly ruined when my phone rings. When I look down and see it’s the prison, I close my eyes for a few seconds before rejecting the call.

Ron Wilson is not going to ruin this day. He’s already done that enough to last a lifetime. But today, I’m choosing to believe in the good. And he…he’s the furthest thing from that.

Walker

I don’t know why I’m here. I shouldn’t be. There’s absolutely no point to it besides to stir up old shit that is only going to fuck my head up more than it already is.

Honestly though, Poppy’s already fucked it up to the extreme. What’s one more thing going to hurt?

Driving past the trailer Poppy, Van, and Jake grew up in, I frown when I see what looks like Cade Huff’s truck pulling out of the driveway.

I’ve done some digging and found out that Van still lives there. Rumor on the street is, now that his old man is in prison, Van has taken over the drug-dealing business.

God, that makes me so fucking sad and pissed off at the same time. But at least Poppy got out of here. And for that, I’m thankful.

What the fuck? I narrow my eyes to see HUFF4 on the license plate, instantly knowing it is Cade.

I have no clue why he’d be at Van’s. That’s no place anyone should be. Well, besides crackheads, I suppose. Clearly, Cade isn’t who I thought he was. His demons must run deeper than I ever imagined they did.

Luckily, Huff turns out the other way and doesn’t see my truck at the end of the street. Once he’s gone, I look out my window at my childhood home. The windows are almost all busted out now. And parts of the roof are falling off. The steps look like someone could fall through if they moved wrong. I need to drive away. I need to get out of here.

So, why the fuck am I pushing my truck door open, walking up to it?

When I peer through the windows, it looks completely trashed. Like homeless people had a party inside once we left it. If I know this street, I’m sure that’s exactly what happened.

Flashing before me, I see my dad passed out on the couch after shooting up. I see my mom in bed, unable to get up and make breakfast for my sister and me. I see the times they had to Narcan each other, back when they were given free supplies of it.

I see two kids trying to do their homework with absolutely no one around who could help them. Those same kids scrounged through the cupboards, trying to find something, anything to eat.

I see my sister walking out of her room after losing her first tooth. She held it in her hand, confused as to why the tooth fairy hadn’t taken it. It didn’t take long for us to grow up and not believe in anything.

But as crazy as it is, I look deeper and also see the good.

I remember those eighteen months when they were both sober. There was a Christmas tree in the living room with a few packages under it—one each for Briar and me. Since my mom knew that Ron never acknowledged Christmas, she got Poppy, Jake, and Van each something too.

I remember when Poppy opened hers. It was a bag with her initials on it to put her dance stuff in. She cried. It was the first time I had ever seen tears fall from her eyes, confirming she was human. For Jake, it was a football of his very own. And for Van, it was a cookbook. Because he loved cooking more than anything. I got my first new pair of skates, and Briar got the Harry Potter books she had been wanting. She loved to read that shit.

I have no idea how they had saved money to buy everything, but each gift was given from my mom’s heart. And I’ll never forget that. Even when they relapsed shortly after and fell back into their addiction. For a short time, my sister and I’d had our parents.

That’s something that Poppy and her brothers will never get the chance to say.

Poppy’s mother left a few weeks after giving birth to her and Van. And their father, Ron, has done unthinkable things to his children. From locking them in a closet for days at a time to beating them until they were bruised and battered and even trying to allow men to rape his daughter simply to save his own ass.

The world would be a better place if he were dead.

I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner. I don’t know why she had to scream it out for me to understand. She couldn’t lie for me. She had to protect her brothers. It was never about Ron or even herself. It was about Jake. And making sure that he got the life he deserved when he was eighteen.

I’ve punished her for years. Abandoned her. Convinced myself I hated her even. And now…I’ve fucked everything up beyond repair.

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