Page 61 of Perfect Boy

“Just Sutton. I wanted to tell my sister. And to send her some pictures of our day today because…well, she and I never got days like this, growing up.” She stops. “And…I don’t know. I don’t want her to think I’m over here, living my best life. I don’t want her to feel like I’ve forgotten about her because I haven’t.” Her voice grows more strained. “I worry about her all the time. But we text daily—a lot since she’s a typical teenage girl.” She snickers lightly. “Anyway, I’m rambling. What about you? Did you tell anyone?”

“Just Hunter,” I murmur. “And I’m sure he told Haley since she lives with us.”

“Gotcha. So…” she whispers, patting her hand against my chest. “When do you plan to tell your mom about our arrangement? Or…are you going to keep it from her until…” She stops, and I’m so fucking glad because I don’t want to hear the words about us getting an annulment or some shit like that coming from her mouth.

But then she opens her pretty lips again. “Until we, you know…split up or whatever?” She swallows. “I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t want to tell her, you know. It’ll probably just upset her. No point in breaking your mom’s heart for nothing.”

I try to form some sort of a thought without freaking the fuck out over what she just said. My body tenses, and my jaw tics.

“That what you want, Ryann?” I mutter. “After the hot tub the other night and dancing last night after my game and this trip, that’s what your plan is? To just, what, split up?”

She doesn’t move. Just continues to have her cheek pressed against my body. “I don’t know what the plan is anymore, Watson,” she croaks. “I’m so confused now.”

Scooching up, I pull her upward so that she’s straddling me. “Well, I’m not confused, Ryann. I want you. I want this.” I reach up, cupping her cheek and pushing her hair away from her face. “We don’t need to stage a breakup. Why can’t we just live happily ever after? What would be so wrong with that?”

Tears well in her eyes. “I don’t know. I just…you’ll get sick of me. I know it.” She looks downward. “And you know, eventually, once I get a real job, my sister will come over here and need a guardian.” She gives me a sad look. “Would you really want a wife who had to take care of her teenage sister?” She cringes. “I don’t think so, Watson.”

“I wouldn’t give a fuck if you had ten siblings. Fuck, twenty, and I still wouldn’t care.” I growl. “Ryann, I can’t spell it out for you any more than I already have. I want you. I’ve always wanted you.” I stop, dragging in a breath. “And guess what. I think you feel the same way.”

“Who wouldn’t want you, Watson?” she cries, trying to get off of me but I hold her down. “You’re literally perfect.”

“Trust me, I’m not perfect.” I pull her closer, gripping the back of her neck softly. “I can promise you that.”

“You are. And I’m a mess.”

After more effort, she grips one of the blankets to her chest and stands up. I can’t help but sit up straight, panicked that she’s going to do what she always does. Freeze up. Push me away. Run off.

“Watson, you walk around, acting like you won some grand prize when you married me. But do you know why I had to fake my own visa?” She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, and the fire lights up her tear-soaked cheeks. “It’s because I have a criminal history that prevented me from just going out and getting myself one.” She gives me a harsh look. “Do you really think your mother will want her precious, sweet, successful baby boy to be with a stripper with a criminal record?” She shakes her head before collapsing onto the plush chair. “Fuck no. Why would she? You’re amazing. And kind. And good.” She signals to herself. “And I’m just me. I don’t even know who that is.”

Standing up, I walk toward her, sinking to my knees before her. “We can figure it all out, Ryann. I’m sure whatever you did wasn’t so bad that you can’t get your visa.”

“I stole from a local convenient store,” she whispers, and I sigh in relief.

“Baby, that’s not a big deal.” I reach up, brushing my fingers on her chin. “Do you know how many kids do that at some point in their childhood? I mean, Carson stole a fucking soda once because my mom told him he couldn’t have it.”

“I wasn’t a five-year-old who wanted a sugar-filled soda, Watson. I was nearly a teenager,” she snaps, but her voice is more embarrassed than it is angry. “And if that wasn’t enough to seal my fate, you know what was? When I almost killed a police officer by hitting him in the head.” Her eyes float to mine, and her lips form a line. “It didn’t matter that he was beating up my mom. Or that he mentioned my sister and I were going to be next. I panicked. I didn’t want him to touch Riley. But none of that matters because even when I told the truth to the police, it was his word against mine back then. And back where I’m from? My word, it’s not worth much.”

“Don’t push me away just because you’re scared.” I put my palms on her legs. “I hate when you do that.”

“And I hate when you try to act like this whole situation is normal,” she bites back. “I hate when you look at me like I’m this amazing human being when I’m not.” She sits forward, eyebrows pulling together. “And I really, really hate when you pretend like everything is going to be fine!”

“It’s better than what you’re doing, isn’t it?” I snap. “It’s better than looking on the fucking dark side all the damn time.”

“The dark side is all I’ve ever had,” she hisses through gritted teeth. “You wouldn’t know that because you’re used to a mom who bakes and gives you fucking cookies and milk before bed.”

Standing abruptly, she heads toward her pile of clothes on the floor and attempts to reach for them. But before she can, I pick her up, tossing her over my shoulder.

“Put me down!” she screams.

“Why? So you can run off?” I growl, tightening my grip on her body. “Fuck that. I don’t think so.”

“I need to clear my head! I need to get out of this room and away from you.” She kicks and swats me. “Because I can’t think when I’m near you, Watson! I can’t think! Or breathe or do anything!”

I drop her down onto the bed, falling right along with her. My nose touching hers, I glare into her eyes. “I fucking want you, Ryann. Okay? Stop fighting me. Stop trying to find a reason to sabotage this. Just let yourself be happy, for fuck’s sake.” I pause, my voice dropping lower. “And if you can’t do it for you, can you do it for me?”

At my words, her body relaxes, and her chest heaves against mine. I know she’s on the verge of falling apart. I want her to fall apart so that I can be there to put her back together. I’d spend my life doing that, just as long as I got to be with her.

“Everything feels so out of control,” she whispers. “The lies we’re telling. The people you’re going to hurt when they learn what you’ve done.” A tear spills down her cheek. “It’s all turned into a mess.”

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