Page 5 of When You Smile

Caz pointed to what looked to be a dormant intramural field in the distance. “Hot guys congregate over there around four p.m. when most of the classes for the day conclude. Hot girls can be found in front of Avery Hall over there. Not sure yet where your interest lies, so I’m covering my bases.”

“Um. Girls.” Wow. She blinked in shock at the ease with which the words had left her lips. She’d known she was gay for three years now, but Caz was the first person outside of her home that she’d ever informed with words. “I’ve never said that out loud to anyone besides my parents, so I’m taking a moment here.”

“Wait.” Caz stopped walking and turned, a frown on her face. “Never?”

“Nope. Not even a hint until, well, this very moment. It feels…surreal.” She was smiling. The moment was still in progress, but all signs were pointing to it being a good one.

Caz nodded and grinned, as if letting herself record the importance. “I’m more than honored.” She walked on. “So you’ll want to hang over there,” she said, indicating the hot girls gathering spot across the big lawn. The casualness with which she’d moved forward was the best gift Caz could have given her. Something she’d struggled with for a long time had just been noted as just another cool part of her to add to the collection.

Taryn couldn’t stop smiling. Did this mean she was officially out? Everything in her said yes. And in that very instant, the weight of the world was casually shifted right off her shoulders, just like that. The day was sunny, the prospects good.

Admittedly, she’d lived a pretty solitary existence the past two years. Most of her high school friends had headed off to colleges spread out across the country as she sat on the steps in front of the house in Dyer, Indiana, that she’d lived in since birth. A total failure to launch, and feeling every moment of it. While her peers were away, she’d quietly gone to classes, helped with dinner, driven her father to appointments, and ended each night studying alone in her room, sometimes falling asleep at her laptop. Her grades, as a result of her less than full social scene, had skyrocketed. Any kind of romantic prospects, however, had withered a slow death.

Everything at Hillspoint felt noticeably different. This place, this blossoming campus with intelligent people around every corner, made her want to crawl right out of her shell and introduce herself, something her second-guessing would have shut down immediately just months ago.

Taryn shimmied as a tingle slid up her spine. Flurries of anticipation floated over every inch of her. She had a distinct feeling this year was about to change absolutely everything, and in many ways, she wished she could fast-forward her own story just to see how it all turned out. She hoped her ending was a happy one.

* * *

The semester hadn’t started yet, but Charlotte Adler could already anticipate the size of the workload about to rain down on her. Within two weeks, she’d likely be saddled with over a hundred pages of reading, a research project, and forty intro essays to grade as a grad instructor. In her third and final year in pursuit of her MFA, she’d come to know what to expect from a Hillspoint semester.

And this was easily the calm before the storm.

It was nice to be back, though, inhaling the cool autumn air and seeing the friends she loved. Given that this was her last year, she planned to soak up every minute of academic life, even though the rigorous program would have her regretting that plan soon enough. She was certainly writing more than ever, thanks to the summer stipend the program provided, which had given her space to buckle down and focus on her work for three months, rather than having to take a full-time job. Having a strong work ethic, she’d still picked up the occasional nanny gig through the high end agency that made it well worth her time.

As Charlie crossed the quad in front of Old Main, she spotted Danny McHenry, her boyfriend of the past three years, with one sneaker-clad foot on a bench, standing with his best friend, Lawson, and another mutual classmate, Emerson, who screamed her name and beckoned her over like a cheerleader at a Saturday night game.

“Charlie! Whoop! Get over here right now!” Emerson was sweet as could be but definitely grated when she leaned into hyperbolic affirmations, and when did she not? She also tended to glorify Danny and his famous mom on a regular basis. Perhaps a crush? Not that Charlie minded. She was secure in their relationship, which she would describe as mature and comfortable, given that they’d known each other since childhood. Danny’s mom and hers had been best friends for decades before Charlie’s mom had sadly passed, three and a half years prior. Sadness still nestled in her chest over the loss. It still felt like yesterday and hurt just as potently.

“Well, look who finally decided to grace us with her presence,” Danny said playfully. His sandy brown hair fell across his forehead in that I-didn’t-do-my-hair-but-it-looks-good kind of way. In that moment, she smiled and they locked eyes. She’d been nervous about this part, having anticipated their reunion all day. They’d spent most of the summer apart because Danny had been accepted into a prestigious writing colony in Tennessee that he simply couldn’t pass up. This was actually the first time she’d seen him in six weeks, and she wondered how reentry might feel. He broke into a huge smile as she approached, and that little gesture made everything in her exhale. It meant they were okay, still them, in their warm, compatible way.

“Hi,” she said and easily moved into his open arms. She relaxed into comfort and familiarity. Danny was not just her boyfriend but family, and always had been.

“My girl.” They shared a sweet kiss as their friends looked on. It was good to see Danny, like her favorite blanket back around her shoulders. They’d texted daily, and she’d listened to him rave on about his experience at the writing retreat and the prestige associated with it, while wishing desperately she’d been accepted as well. Danny was at the top of the ladder at Hillspoint, so he’d received their department’s top recommendation to the summer program. He’d been the only one of their group to receive admittance, which left Charlie disappointed but happy for Danny. Having a best-selling author for a mother certainly added wattage to his spotlight, but that was just part of life. “Weird being back here, huh?”

She shrugged. “I’m kind of excited, myself. But then again, I didn’t have to give up a fancy writing existence.”

“The scenery alone was immensely inspiring. I don’t know how I’m going to manage back in a classroom environment after that.” He probably didn’t mean to elevate himself and make the rest of them look basic, but he certainly had the tendency, a fault she’d excused many times. Daniel McHenry wasn’t a pompous human, but sometimes he didn’t hear how he sounded. Though they’d known each other for years, here at school, he was also a fellow MFA candidate in Charlie’s creative writing program, meaning they would have at least two of three sections together. That meant that soon they’d be elbows deep critiquing each other’s work, debating the week’s reading assignment, and generally up close and personal in each other’s faces. The arrangement could definitely strain even the strongest of relationships, but so far, they’d done their best to navigate the stresses. Maintaining their own apartments had been a purposeful decision to give them time apart when they needed it.

This year was going to be an important one. They’d be planning for life after grad school and not just professionally. Would there be a proposal, or would they simply get a place together after graduation? She harnessed the hope as fuel, and with a deep fortifying breath made the choice to relish every moment of her last year on the campus she’d grown to love.

Emerson, who’d become a necessary annoyance after years in the trenches together, hopped like a happy chick about to be fed. “Getting the band back together now.” She brought her shoulders to her ears and beamed. “Our resident couple reunited. Goals, man. Wistful sigh in action.” She demonstrated.

Danny kissed Charlie’s head. “Missed you.”

“Same,” she said with a smile. Their time together was laced with laughter, interesting conversation, and a lot of her feeling like she sometimes let him down. Their passion meter was a little on the average side, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t tons of time to work on that aspect of the relationship. They had bigger things to focus on in the here and now. Sex, passion, and fun in the bedroom were fairly low on her list, but they were capable adults who’d get there in time. Their plates were full. That was all.

Charlie turned to Emerson with a grin and opened her arms. The petite redhead had always reminded Charlie of a yappy Yorkshire terrier, adorable yet tiring, prone to mischief and unwarranted positivity. She practically leapt into Charlie’s arms. “And here I come, ready to strum bass.”

“Totally not the bass player,” Lawson said, his dark eyebrows drawn into a V. He was Danny’s best friend and biggest cheerleader, always there to hype him up in class. A mediocre writer himself, but his confidence seemed to get him places. “You’re on vocals, Em. I’m bass. Danny’s guitar, and Charlie’s drums.” He stared at them in shocked judgment like there would be little question as to those assignments.

They collectively paused and regarded him.

“You’ve really put some time into that,” Charlie said.

He shrugged and slung an arm around her shoulder. “Start warming up those hands. I’m guessing you’re with us in Rhetoric and Comp in five.”

“That’s my understanding.”

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