Page 30 of When You Smile

“No. But remember when you asked me how your boobs looked in the cocktail dress?”

“The perfect dress that you picked out? I do. I still owe you for that assist.”

“That could have led to an awkward moment.”

“Why? You don’t like my boobs.” Charlie flashed a dazzling smile that became a kind one. She covered Taryn’s hand with hers. “I see your point, and I will refrain from putting you in any potentially uncomfortable scenarios about boobs.”

“No, no. I didn’t feel uncomfortable. I just want to make sure you’re not uncomfortable, and that means all the cards on the table, and one of those cards is my sexuality. If you’re going to ask a question about your boobs, I just want you to know who’s answering. That’s all.”

Charlie nodded definitively. “I hear you, and I think it’s really impressive that you’re now your full self. I admire you. You’re ahead of a lot of people at Hillspoint.”

“I’m not,” Taryn said flatly. “I’m wildly behind. Couldn’t even go away to school, when it was all I wanted.” Apparently, confessions were pouring out of her tonight.

“What do you mean?” Charlie asked softly.

Taryn closed her eyes. “Everyone thinks I stayed in Dyer because my dad was recovering. The truth is that I backed out of school way before his hospitalization. I choked. I got cold feet, had trouble leaving my house for a period of time. It was all so overwhelming, and the idea of failure was…too much.”

“Taryn.” Charlie stopped eating entirely, her features soft and sympathetic. “What did it feel like?”

“Paralyzing. Like the world was crashing in on me.” This wasn’t something that she talked about much.

“It sounds to me like you were experiencing anxiety. You’re not alone. Lots of people struggle.”

“I use the words crippling fear, but yeah.” She exhaled slowly. “I get in my own head and set it off, working on ways to overcome trepidation. That’s why it’s so ironic when people comment on my confidence. If they only knew.”

“I think you can be both. Confident people can get scared.”

Taryn turned the idea over in her mind. “I like that take.”

“I believe it, just like I believe you’re going to be okay, Taryn, and are to be admired for how far you’ve come.”

“I still can’t seem to find my way to the dining hall. That’s why I’m eating dinner at midnight.” She blinked, refusing to crack a smile.

Charlie laughed. “Your delivery kills me. You never break.”

Taryn tossed Charlie a grin and raised a shoulder. “Yeah, well, your chicken marsala left me dead ten minutes ago. This whole conversation is from the beyond.”

“Then cue my grief. I happen to like you.”

God, this woman had eyes that sparkled when she enjoyed herself. Taryn had heard the descriptor before in books but had never actually witnessed sparkling eyes in real life until Charlotte Adler flipped her world on its head at the beginning of the semester.

“I like you, too. You cook me amazing floor food.” She stole another bite and sank into the wonder response it pulled. Could she ask for a pint of this sauce to go? Would that be rude? She wanted to be invited back.

“I’d be happy to teach you a few cooking basics. You seem impressed, but I don’t think you realize how simple this dish actually is. But I do like the fangirling.” She made the keep-it-coming gesture.

“Is this offer you still taking care of me?”

“No. I have a feeling you’re more than capable on your own these days.”

Taryn rested her chin on her knee. “Now I’m blushing.” The room was thick with tension. Taryn wasn’t imagining it this time.

Charlie looked up from her plate as if she just had to see for herself. “You are. Look at you.”

Were they flirting? God, she hoped so because this was so much fun. The ping-pong match helped Taryn relax. She was proud of herself for coming out to Charlie, and the reality had been so much more chill than what her imagination had conjured. Not a single stumble or awkward exchange. If anything, she wished she’d been open about her sexuality sooner.

“Tell me more. Are you seeing anyone?” Charlie asked. “What about the girl with the cat ears from the party? She was worried about you that night.”

“Caz. She’s my roommate and a good friend, but there’s nothing romantic between us. I haven’t dated anyone since coming to Hillspoint.”

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