Page 14 of When You Smile

He glanced behind him as if just then remembering the events in class. “Right. The session. I know. Hey, I was an asshole. I just got going and—”

“Couldn’t stop. What’s that about?” She masked her frustration, shooting for curiosity.

He let his head drop back and searched the tree branches for some sort of whispered answer. “I think I just want you to be the best writer, and sometimes I should examine my tactics a little more carefully.”

“You would never have critiqued Lawson that way. Or Richie.”

“That’s not true.”

She exhaled, not wanting to fight but believing her point was valid. “Isn’t it?”

Silence reigned.

His jaw tightened. “Thank you for pointing this out to me. I will certainly work harder at how I impart my thoughts.” She stared at him for a moment and watched his eyes finally soften. “But I still think you’re the raddest human I know, and the most beautiful woman on the planet.”

Better.

She sent him a smile back. He was a good guy but sometimes needed to be nudged back to an even playing field. He didn’t always have to assert himself as the smartest person in the room, no matter how gifted the world had already decided he was. “Can we remain on the same team? Especially in critique when you know how hard those can be?”

“Yes. And we will.” He ran a hand through his hair, and she watched it fall back to his forehead haphazardly. She used to think he was so cute when he did that. He still was, but the summer on her own had altered her perception somehow, equipping her with strength and independence to maybe not need him so much. The time away had given her a newfound confidence to see the world as so much bigger than just Danny McHenry. “But the metaphor is heavily hit. Lawson was right about the fire imagery, too.”

She sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’m gonna rework and minimize.”

“I’ll take a second look if you want.”

She nodded, appreciative of his willingness to help. He deviated from her in style, but his prose came right off the page. He specifically dazzled in his creative arrangement of words that took her breath away. His writing was one of the things she most admired about him. No disputing that part. “Yeah, I’d welcome that.”

“I miss you,” he said and exhaled slowly. “We feel distant lately, and we should work on fixing that. My body misses you, too.” He stepped in to her, making it apparent. She couldn’t go there with him. Not now.

“I miss you, too.” But she tried to keep her voice lighthearted. Her feelings for Danny hadn’t suddenly leapt back to life as soon as they’d returned from the break. They’d had sex a couple of times since, but it had been lackluster, making her search for other tethers. Their families were the main link, their shared history. With her mom gone, Danny’s family was about all she had left. The water was warm by his side, and the two of them made such sense together. Their mothers had such rich history, and that knowledge nestled warmly in her heart, sanctioning her relationship with Danny. In so many ways, it made her feel like she was doing right by her mom, honoring what could almost be called a dying wish: that she ride off into the sunset with Danny.

“I want you to remember what we were like together,” he said. “We can be that again.”

“We can. I’ve been off lately.” It was more than that, but her thoughts and spoken words weren’t matching.

“It’s okay.” He was standing so close. Why did she have the urge to take a step back and put space between them? She tried not to panic. Maybe these were growing pains, and she just needed to shake it off and grow the hell up.

“But I have to go.”

“I’ll come over tonight. We can have some quiet us time.” He meant sex, and the thought sent her down a path she didn’t want to be on.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“It’s been a bit.” He dipped his head and found her eyes.

“No. I know. It has.” She glanced over her shoulder, disentangling herself. “But for now, I better get going. Busy day. I’m not sure about tonight. Let me see how much of that reading I get done for tomorrow.”

“Okay.” He kissed her once. “See you soon.”

She slipped her hands into the pockets of her green quilted jacket, intent on taking a walk before starting the day’s assignment and then heading to work. Her heart shifted uncomfortably. There had been a time when she couldn’t imagine a world without her and Danny forever and always, and now she was hesitant to so much as encourage a night alone. It’s not that she wasn’t interested in him or not attracted to him. But there had to be more than just…this. Something new to spark excitement in her life and fill the gaps that were more and more apparent each day.

She could take up dancing. Video games. Or maybe even make a new friend.

Whatever came Charlie’s way, her new plan was to embrace it, try it on, and see if it fit. She would run with the signs the universe placed in front of her, and keep her mind open to any and all open doors because the path she was on didn’t seem like it was hers.

The very next opened door just so happened to be on her way into the library for her shift. Quite literally. An undergrad had run ahead of Charlie and opened the door with a flourish and a bright smile. “For you.”

“Oh, awesome. Thank you,” she said and met his gaze purposefully. A little young, but definitely cute with beautiful eyes.

---