Page 58 of When You Smile

“Really?” The comment seemed to resonate, and Emerson softened. “Thank you. I don’t have a ton of friends, Charlie, but I’ve always considered you a good one. I hope you know that.”

And before she knew what she was doing, Charlie pulled Emerson into a tight hug, aware of the tears that pooled in her eyes, aware of the snow falling more heavily all around them, and aware of the chiseling away of self-doubt that was happening in real time. There were people in the world who cheered for others, who lifted them up and made life a better place, and Charlie vowed silently to pay more attention to those people and mirror their light.

“Well, you’re stuck with me,” Charlie said, releasing her. “And I was going to swing by the Bump and Grind. Wanna come with me?” They’d been work friends and school friends but hadn’t socialized a ton together outside of those umbrellas. Time to change all that.

“I’m in!” Emerson said. “I love that place. That have the hottest barista named Brian who wears these supremely tight T-shirts. You have to see.” She paused. “But maybe you’d prefer his coworker Lara. I’m so sorry to presume.”

“You know what? Let’s head over there, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Chapter Thirteen

Taryn sat with her friends at a high-top table at Toby’s, nursing large schooners of dressed Dos Equis and celebrating the first half of exams in their rearview mirrors. Soon they’d all pack up and say good-bye for a month before returning to do it all over again.

“So on a scale of one to ten, what’s the report?” Sasha asked. Behind them a group of guys threw darts and occasionally erupted in a round of raucous cheering, causing them to raise their voices.

“Ten. No doubt,” Taryn said. She stared into her beer. Her enthusiasm was still there, but the run-in with Charlie’s friend had taken a bit of wind from her sails. No, that was an understatement. All she’d thought of for the past forty-eight hours was the look on Charlie’s face when she realized someone she knew had been watching. Her whole demeanor had shifted.

“If it’s a ten, why do you say it with so little conviction? Damn, Tare, you need some caffeine or maybe a little action with your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend. We’ve not had that talk.”

“Is that why there’s a little raincloud following you everywhere you go, like Eeyore on very little sleep?”

“Maybe.” She shrugged, and the tiny beer buzz she had going dragged the words right out of her. “We had a moment where it was clear she didn’t want her friends to know about us.”

Caz and Sasha exchanged a look. “You or me?” Caz asked.

“You then me,” Sasha said quietly. They put their hands in a pile and broke like a seven-year-old’s soccer team.

“Is it possible, Counselor, that Charlie is still quite new to her journey of self-discovery as it relates to her sexuality?” She stared at Taryn, brow furrowed, awaiting her response.

“Yes, undoubtedly.”

“Me?” Sasha asked, rising her hand.

“Tag in,” Caz said.

“Are we lawyers?” Sasha whispered.

“If you want,” Caz said. “Feel it out.”

“Is it or is it not true, Ms. Ross,” Sasha literally yelled, making even the rowdy dart throwers turn around, “that no one tapped their foot impatiently while you found your way to officially coming out?”

“First of all, I’m not a hostile witness, so slow that passionate delivery.” Taryn, still processing, took a moment to consider the question. “Secondly, yes. I took my time literally over a few years.”

“And should we not afford Charlie a small amount of grace for not arriving on the scene with the perfectly minted tools to maneuver her own journey?”

Why hadn’t she framed it like that for herself? Taryn sighed, feeling like an ass. How had her friends seen something so simply while she’d fumbled around, lost in her own emotions. “Fuck. I’m being a selfish asshole. She texted me three times today, and because I was licking my wounds, I sent back short blow-off responses each time.”

“Okay, well, that’s already in the past,” Caz stated over the roar from the group throwing darts. “You can’t undo it. The question is, what are you going to do now?”

Taryn downed the rest of her beer and checked her watch. It was only eight p.m., and Charlie would likely be getting home soon from some sort of departmental Christmas gathering. “I’m going to fix it and grow the hell up. I can be a supportive partner and need her to see that we’re not in a rush.”

“Case dismissed!” Sasha shouted and lifted her schooner.

* * *

There were only so many times Charlie could nod her head knowingly and laugh at the anecdotes from one of the men in the writing department. “No, that must have been such an honor. Really? Impressive.” She tossed in an obligatory laugh as one of the tenured professors continued to gloat about his year. The fact was, as a woman, she was in the definite minority and found herself glossed over, brushed aside, or expected to fall all over herself at how great they were.

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