Page 8 of Return To You

But I’m here with my brother, and I can do something for him. “We were kids, Justin. You were a baby. But if you want to go down that road, then—you… you did right by her. She came to the party to find me. I should have been looking out for her.” The truth is, she came to the party to cause trouble. I took care of it. Who could predict the chain of events that would unfold?

“What do you mean? She was your girlfriend. I hit on your girlfriend. I took her home to get lucky and—”

“She wasn’t my girlfriend. I didn’t even know where she lived. We’d hooked up once before, and I’d called it off. Then she came onto me a little strong at the party, and I told her off a little strong too. There was nothing between us.”

Justin seems lost. “I thought… I thought… I thought that’s why you never came back.”

“Nah, she wasn’t the one,” I feel necessary to say, handing him another beer. Trying not to think about the girl who broke my heart. We sit for a while, talking about the girl who died in the crash—who he almost gave his life for, trying to save her. We talk about her parents too. And about the guy who crashed his car into theirs.

I try to dole out a little bit of wisdom without acting like an older brother know-it-all, which I definitely am not. I might feel like I’m in an okay place right now, but I could be wrong. But hey, I’ll do anything for my brother. For the little time that I’m here, the least I can do is fix some of the stuff I broke.

We talk a little longer about the accident, and then we call it a night, Justin sleeping on the couch on account of too many beers.

The next couple of days, I stay at the farm, helping Dad fix fences and adjust a wobbly barn door.

Then Saturday, I go to the fair, thinking it’s going to be just another day in small town America. Which, in a way, it is.

And in another way, it rocks me to my core.

two

Grace

Rituals help. At the beginning, there were days when their predictability seemed to amplify the emptiness of my life. But now, there’s a comfort to them. A healthy dependency on a good thing to come. Now, I hardly ever think of them as rituals—crutches. Now, they’re part of the life I designed for myself. They’re my healthy habits.

Since I’ve been back in Emerald Creek, a day in my hometown starts with coffee at Easy Monday and ends with a drink at Lazy’s. If I’m being honest, at the beginning, whatever happened in between was just filler. I worked at the resort, in their spa. It was a job.

Now, I’m proud of my business. Employing four beauticians and one receptionist at A Touch Of Grace makes me feel good about myself. Pampering clients is meaningful and fulfilling, especially now that I’ll also be offering massages.

It’s not what I expected my life would be. But who’s lucky enough to see their teenage dreams come true? Yeah, I don’t see many hands up.

My rituals helped me. Mainly in forcing me to have a social life, and ultimately, to find deep joy in trivial delights.

And this morning as I enter the best coffee shop in town, before I even hear the voices calling me, a smile forms on my lips, the warmth in my core increases.

I’m in a good place.

“Grace! Over here!” Two of my girlfriends, Alex and Haley, are sitting on a deep couch, nudged between the wooden sculpture of a siren and a tower of romance books, lattes in hand.

Millie, the young woman who owns Easy Monday, smiles as she hands me a Maple Chill without my needing to ask her. “Have an awesome day, sweetheart.”

It’s summer in Emerald Creek. Even the weather is eerily perfect. Today is our summer fair, and I’ll be giving free massages to grow my business.

It’ll be awesome. There’s no reason why it wouldn’t.

I return Millie’s smile. “You too.” As I make my way across the crowded room, I’m greeted by friendly faces.

Coming back was the right choice.

I plop on a low armchair across from my friends. “What’s up?”

Haley rolls her eyes. “Ugh. I don’t even know where to start.”

Alex stops taking pictures of her latte in its locally made pottery mug, and gives me a tentative smile. “Are you okay?” She glances with alarm at Haley.

“Sure, why?” I answer Alex, ignoring Haley for now. Her sense for drama and suspense hasn’t subsided since we were kids.

Alex is new to Emerald Creek. She still doesn’t know how to read us all. She’s also a straight shooter, and her asking me if I’m okay raises an alarm.

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