Page 44 of Return To You

The most beautiful smile a man has ever seen.

Then she swam up, and I followed her to the surface.

“What are you doing?” I asked, relieved she was okay.

“Shutting down the noise.”

Then Not-Annie shrieked, and Grace plunged again, and I followed her.

That day I broke up with Not-Annie.

The following year, Grace kissed me in the projection room of the church basement, at youth nights, and as I pulled her softly away from me, my world began to change.

It wasn’t so much the taste of her lips on mine, or the feel of her body fleetingly pressed against me, that affected me so deeply. No, it was the way she gave herself to me—wholeheartedly; the way she trusted me with her feelings; the fact that she chose me, that deeply moved me in a way that would prove life-altering.

I didn’t kiss her back.

I had to push her gently away, explain I was too old for her, watch the pain on her features as she bit her trembling lip. I did everything I could not to hurt her too much.

Over the following months, knowing her feelings for me, I let myself fall more and more for her. The distance I kept between us didn’t affect the depth of my feelings for her. It only strengthened them as I saw her mature.

Two years later, I was lost to her.

A couple of hours later, it’s just Grace, me, and Tracy waiting on her ride home. “I can take you home,” Grace offers.

“No, my cousin’ll kill me.”

“Can you call her?”

“She’s not picking up. I’m so sorry I’m keeping you. She’s such a pain.”

“It’s alright,” I say. Then, because I feel I have to, I tell Grace, “You can go home if you need to.”

Tracy snickers. “Take care of your kitty.” Then she leans on Grace, giggling affectionately. “Ohmygod, I didn’t mean it that way, swear I didn’t!”

Grace laughs. “It’s alright. I am a cat lady. Who cares?”

I turn my head to Grace, and catch her gaze on me. In the shining bright department, the stars have nothing on her eyes.

“Seriously, I don’t mind,” I tell Grace. And then, because I can’t help myself, I add, “It’s so beautiful here. Brings back a lot of memories.” She whips her head around, but not before I see the color on her cheeks.

“I—you shouldn’t stay alone with Tracy. It’s…”

Tracy sighs. “It’s cool.”

“It’s just not good protocol,” Grace says.

“She’s right,” I concede.

“Ugh. I hate my cousin,” Tracy says for the umpteenth time just as an engine roars down the dirt road. She jumps to her feet. “That’ll be me! Bye guys!” I follow her, to make sure it is her cousin and she’s all good.

A woman comes out the car and ambles my way. “Ethan! Ohmygod! Ethan!”

Oh fuck. Please. “Annie?”

eleven

Grace

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