Page 167 of Return To You

We both go back into the kitchen. While I make coffee, she fills Damian’s bowl. “What did you find at the high school?” she asks.

I tell her, basically, what I told my C.O. I wasn’t lying when I said I’m strongly suspecting there’s a foreign entity behind the hack, and they’re just testing our defenses on soft targets. “I’d like to have the high school start an entirely new system, on new machines, while we play cat and mouse with these fuckers. Give us some time to figure out what they’re up to.”

“Are you supposed to be telling me this?’

I shrug. “No.” I don’t need to tell her I trust her.

She nods, pensive.

Back on the deck, we sit on the couch, slurping our coffees while I continue. “Remember when I first visited Noah’s coding club?”

“M-hm?”

“I started thinking. There’s a lot of work I could do remote, with the proper security in place. The right infrastructure.”

She frowns.

“Hear me out. Most of the work I do, I’m alone, analyzing shit. More and more guys are retiring and setting themselves up as consultants for the Air Force. The Air Force likes the flexibility. The guys like the flexibility.”

“But you… the Air Force…”

I know what she’s thinking. “The Air Force gave me a structure when I was lost. This is not who I am now. And prestige doesn’t mean that much to me anymore.” I take both her hands in mine. “Think about it, Grace. I could have it all. We could have it all. I love my job, and I can keep doing it from here. I could help Coach Randall with hockey and Noah with the coding club.”

“You’re not thinking straight,” she interjects.

I continue. “For a living, I would still do nerdy stuff to protect my country. And I’d be home every night. We could even have our lunch breaks together.”

“Honey, you’re just sleep-deprived. Don’t you see?”

I have to smile at that. “I’m used to sleep deprivation. I’m actually seeing very clearly.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “You’d work as a consultant?’

Finally. I got her on board. I need her with me so she can help me brainstorm logistics, like office space and shit. “Yes. I’d need to get myself set up as a business and go through all the security clearance shit again, probably. But it’s all red tape and nothing more.” Well, and a hefty dollar amount in equipment, if I’m an independent contractor.

She shakes her head slowly. “I never should have told you about the hack. It gave you ideas. Bad ideas. This is never gonna work out. I could tell your C.O. was pissed. He’s not gonna back you on this. What if you don’t get the security clearance? And the contracts?”

“I’ll work for the private sector.” Fuck, think about it, the high school hack could just help launch my private services, if it comes to that.

“And now you’ve lost Brussels,” Grace continues, on her entirely different track. “Which is the only thing you ever really wanted. I never should have told you. It’s all my fault. I asked you. Ohmygod, it’s all my fault. I never should have.” She flails her arms with genuine desperation.

“Of course you should have. Thank god you did. Don’t stop doing that.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“There’s no scenario in which it doesn’t work. Look, babe, I want us to make these kinds of decisions together.”

“Really? It doesn’t look like it.”

“Are you gonna tell me you don’t want me staying in Emerald Creek?” Suddenly, the possibility hits me. Maybe Grace is comfortable in her single life. Maybe she was looking forward to the one-week-a-month thing. Maybe she’s not crazy about my stinky socks the way Damian is. Maybe she was generous with calling her house my home and giving me her key because she never thought I’d be a permanent, year-round fixture.

Now she’s the one taking my hands. “Of course I want you staying in Emerald Creek. Just not at the cost of your career.” Her eyes shine, and I can see how wrong I’ve been. She only wants the best for me. Always did.

I lean over to kiss her. “I love you for looking out for me. Don’t ever regret insisting I go to the high school. It set things in motion. It made me see what was possible.”

I run my tongue lightly on her lips. “We look out for each other. Just like me giving Richardson’s mother your brochure set in motion a chain of events I never could have planned.”

She pulls her mouth away from mine. “Oh—that was you?”

---