Page 125 of Return To You

Day 4 Love Note:

My Proudest Moment

Holding you against your bedroom wall and managing not to fuck you although I wanted it so bad and I could tell you did too.

But you said otherwise, so I complied.

God that memory is hot. So hot.

Seared into my brain. I still feel his hand clasping my wrists over my head, his hard thigh under my clit, his breath teasing me.

That night, I fall asleep with my hand between my thighs.

The next morning he texts that he’ll be out of reach for the next few days, and day after day, all I have are his loves notes.

Day 5 Love Note:

WTF

Your box of souvenirs. Freak out on so many levels.

Day 6 Love Note:

And the Golden Globe goes to…

Grace Harper for best actress, pretending she doesn’t give two shits about Ethan King in the feature film Five Nights At The Arena, where she broke his heart one mug at a time.

Day 7 Love Note:

Best and Strongest Memory From The Past

You in our treehouse, after our first time.

This one brings tears to my eyes, which in turn makes me pause. I realize I’ve not yet given myself the time and grace to look back into the past and acknowledge all the good I had with Ethan, years ago. After my initial rejection of him, I’ve been too focused on making sure we were still right for each other in this moment. Then, that it was okay to have a long-distance relationship.

We may seem to be different people because of our life experiences, but fundamentally we’re still the same. I’ll always remember Ethan’s loving attention when I gave myself to him—or more in fashion with eighteen-year-old Grace, bossed him around to have me. He was entirely focused on me, on my pleasure and comfort, from the way he aroused me with his kisses and caresses, to how he checked in on me, making sure I was still on board. To the way he cared for me, after.

At the time, I was solely focused on the way Ethan King came undone inside me, the magic of seeing his features transcended by his own orgasm.

I felt powerful. Invincible. Unique. I loved him fiercely, but failed to see how much he too loved me. I was insecure.

Now, I know. I know how he loved me then, and how he loves me now.

This kind of love resisted the test of time. It’ll stand the test of distance.

That day, I walk home to find a gorgeous bouquet of red and white roses waiting for me. There’s a card signed Ethan, but it’s not in his handwriting. Four simple words, “Miss you so much,” echo my sentiment exactly.

There’s another card, this one simple and white, with my spare key on it. The handwriting is identical to the one signed Ethan, and the message reads, “Ethan said I’d probably find your key under a fake rock next to your door, and if I did, to let myself in, lock myself out, and remind you this might be Emerald Creek, but danger lurks everywhere.

No key under the fake rock.

Randy

PS: Don’t kill the messenger

Day 8 Love Note:

WTF # 2 – However

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