Page 122 of Return To You

“You’re doing good, keep going,” Haley prompts me.

“Yeah, spill it,” Kiara says.

“At the beginning, I thought it’d be better if he were away. This way, I wouldn’t fall for him too much.” My friends give me encouraging looks. “But now… now, he’s all I can think about. He’s all I want, and how pathetic is that?”

“It’s not pathetic at all!” Alex exclaims.

“It’s like, I had this great, stable life as a single woman, a successful business owner, and now suddenly, the carpet is pulled out from under me. I’m struggling to keep my business together and the world feels… empty without Ethan in it.” I don’t even have Skye to take care of, now that Alex is in Chris’s life. So much is going to be different, and everything happened so fast.

“It’s called being in love,” Alex says, taking my hand. “You caught the bug.”

“That’s bullshit,” Kiara declares. “Butterfly, I thought we talked about this. Change and shit. Nothing you can do about it. Note to self, though: this is why I don’t do relationships.” She looks around the room, seeming satisfied.

Haley takes my other hand. “I think what Kiara is trying to say is, nothing lasts forever. This is just a transition. You’ll figure out your spa situation one way or another, and Ethan won’t be in the Air Force forever. You’ll figure it out.”

“You’re right.” It’s just the in-between that’s so hard. “I’m so grateful for you guys.” I clear my throat and decide to let it all out. “I just think that… it’s just that… we’ve had so little time together. And I worry. I worry that we may not be as solid as I think we are. I worry about him being alone. About needing someone by his side. You know?”

Haley squeezes my hand. “He would never. Ever. Sweetheart, you’re worried over nothing.”

“You’re right. You’re right.” God, where did my mind go just now? Is this how it’s going to be, moving forward? Constantly missing him? Constantly wondering if my voice on the phone is enough? Waiting for the other shoe to drop? This is pure horror. I need to focus back on my friends.

I take a sip from the glass Haley poured us. It hits my taste buds in an indescribable way, so I set it on the table. “Though I think there’s studies about how spending the whole night with someone brings people closer. Something about breathing the same air and how your bodies communicate with each other when you’re sleeping?”

Kiara guffaws. “What’s in that—whatever beverage you’re serving us? Grace is hallucinating.”

Haley seems offended. “It’s sumac and pear cider. Can’t you tell?”

“Yeah!” Alex says. “You know how your bellies talk to each other when you’re in bed?”

Kiara looks at Alex with a disgusted look. “Um—no, I don’t. And ew—gross.”

“My cider’s gross?” Haley says, but I know it’s to take the conversation in a different direction.

“No! Your cider is… it needs a little more work.”

Haley sighs. “Can we deconstruct the tastes?”

Kiara and Chloe swirl the drink in their mouths, sniffing, talking about acidity and fruit and roots.

Finally, my mind is off its dangerous path as an idea strikes me. “Guys! I just had an idea.” They all look at me. “What if I had my own line of products, at the spa? Locally made with all this stuff,” I say, waving my hand at the chocolate and cider on the table.

They’re all quiet, until Haley breaks the silence. “That’s a great idea. When you or we have the money to fund the research and the place to make it and—”

“I’ll look into it,” Alex says. All eyes turn to her. “We’re looking to support local initiatives in the food sector. I’m sure we can… interpret our mission statement liberally.” She recently inherited a baking empire from her grandmother, and she’s in the process of turning it into a co-op and moving the headquarters to Emerald Creek.

We end up brainstorming my project and discussing Haley’s latest creation over a bottle of my store-bought wine.

They leave late, and I call Ethan right away, hoping I don’t wake him.

“Darling,” he drawls lovingly.

I tell him about my evening, and he listens attentively. “Your friends are awesome, sweetheart. So happy you have that in your life.”

“How did your day go?” I ask, suddenly self-conscious I’ve been talking only about myself.

He sighs deeply. “Okay, I guess. I just miss you. Are you in bed?”

“Not yet. I have to brush my teeth.”

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