Page 95 of Return To You

She looks at me with a devious smile and sets one hand on my chest. “Do you spy on the bad guys?”

I grin. “One step ahead, baby.”

“Too bad this has to be in Brussels.”

“Could be Maryland, or Florida.”

“For NATO?”

“No—that would be NSA in Maryland, or the Air Force could want me in Florida, or Texas. We’ll see. Like I said, wherever I’m needed.”

She plays with the top button of my button-down shirt. “And so—where you’re going soon, that’s…”

I set my glass on the floor and my hands on her hips. “Undisclosed location. Basically, we gotta talk through shit.” I’ll be in top-secret meetings where needs and skills will be discussed and evaluated, and then I’ll be posted wherever it makes the most sense to the powers that be. I used to find that exciting, rewarding. I felt needed, valued.

I’m not sure I feel that way anymore.

And then there’s the fact that when I got here, I couldn’t wait to leave.

Now, I’d rather stop time and just stay right here forever. “I’ll come back for a few more days. But after that…”

She nods softly, resigned. Sets her hand on my shoulder. “Then you should spend the night at the farm. With your parents.”

That catches me by surprise. I thought we’d had a good day. The river was fun, and so was having a dinner at Lazy’s. And I feel like we’ve opened up to each other a lot. We’ve talked about the past and fixed some misunderstandings. It was good but exhausting. At least to me it was. “Would you rather be alone tonight?”

Her eyes narrow on me. The nerve on the side of her eye is twitching, and I’m not sure what to make of that. “That’s not what I said. I just suggested you might want to go home tonight.”

“I don’t have a home.” What I really want to say is, Home is where you are. But that’d be crazy, right? I might scare her away.

“Don’t ever say that again, Ethan. Your home is here, in Emerald Creek.”

“What I mean is—”

“I think I know what you mean. But a house isn’t a home. A home is where you’re loved no matter how long you stayed away. No matter how far away you are. It’s where you live in people’s hearts.”

My throat tightens and my eyes prickle. “Okay. I’ll sleep at the farm tomorrow, after the barbecue.” Even though where I feel at home is right here, with Grace.

She cups my face in her hands, just like I love to do with her. “Get used to it. You’re loved here.”

I pull her into me, tightening my arms around her, burying my head in her hair, inhaling her scent as I try to contain my emotions. How am I going to go about my day-to-day without her by my side now?

“You know,” she says softly, her cheek against my chest, “I never understood why you stayed away from Emerald Creek for so long. Why you didn’t at least visit your family once a year or something.”

“My folks came to visit me,” I counter, feeling defensive and trying not to show it. “They said it gave them a reason to travel.” My hand goes up and down her back in a gesture that’s soothing to me.

“Right.” She grabs the laser beam off the floor and plays with it, sending Damian in a frenzy. “It’s just… you used to love it here, and then your siblings didn’t get to see you that often. Why? What happened?” She straightens on my lap, looking me in the eye.

I shrug.

“You don’t want to tell me,” she drops, waving the hand that holds the laser in the air, in a gesture of disbelief.

Damian jumps over us to try and keep on top of his perceived task.

I stay silent.

Grace drops the laser beam. “That’s not going to work. You need to help me help you.” She swings one leg over so she’s straddling me, nesting her center against my dick, plunging her gaze into mine. “Talk to me.”

I take a deep breath. “I uh… I took Justin’s accident personally. Meaning, I felt responsible for it. And… I felt like me being here, healthy, alive, was just pouring salt on a wound.”

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