Page 119 of Return To You

As I hang up, my phone rings, and I pick up immediately

Ethan’s voice fills my car, and instantly my hands get moist, my heartbeat picks up. “Hey darling.”

“Heeey.” I make my voice as cheery as possible, but it’s a stretch.

“I miss you already. I’m at the airport… Uh... Just wanted to say… just wanted to hear your voice.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

My smile is so big it hurts my cheeks. “You didn’t kiss me goodbye.”

“Did too. Didn’t wake you, though. You’re a deep sleeper.”

I’m not, I’m really not. Except in Ethan’s arms. Anything could go down when I’m in Ethan’s arms, and I wouldn’t wake up.

“It’s because I know you’re here, taking care of me.” It’s true, but also—really?

“Ah, babe, don’t say that, or I might not get on that plane.”

Then don’t, I almost want to say.

Reading my mind, he says, “I’m still technically Air Force. You don’t want to be with a deserter. Not a fun life.”

Be with? Life? This is real. We have something real. No matter what the other men in my life might think. “That bad, huh?” I answer, pretending like he didn’t just rock my world.

“Oh yeah.”

I stay on the line, listening to his breathing. I don’t want to hang up. “I got your… all your little letters.”

“You didn’t read them already, did you?” he growls, a smile in his voice.

My inside warms at his tone, at our intimacy. “No. Just one a day, I promise.”

“Did you open one this morning?” His words make me all sorts of soft.

“The covered bridge,” I whisper.

“Ah damn. You have no idea how many times I hoped for… a second chance. Going back and-and-and… things turning out differently. I couldn’t believe it when… Ah shit, they’re boarding my flight. I gotta go. I’ll be in touch. I promise.”

“Okay,” I whisper. With a steadier voice, I add, “Good luck with the interview… and all the other stuff.”

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Thanks.”

My heart does its little dance again: I want him to go, and I want him to stay. I want him to have the success he deserves. I want him to have a fulfilling life. And it’s within his reach.

But I also want to wake up next to him every morning. “Lemme know how it goes, okay?” I ask, just to hear his voice once more.

“Of course. I’ll call you.”

thirty-eight

Grace

After I hang up with Ethan, I feel much better. By the sound of his voice, I could tell he’s conflicted too, and not the asshole Dad and Colton and Kyle suggest he might be. He sends a quick text when he lands, but I only see it an hour later. I answer him, wanting but not daring to call him. I don’t know what his schedule is. I don’t want to interfere.

During my lunch break, I walk to the general store to get some kibble for Damian. At the register, keychains and cute charms catch my eye. I choose a few and set them on the wooden checkout counter. “Solid choices,” Noah says with a small smile.

My cheeks burn. “Yeah, thanks.”

After work I go straight home. I’m still vaguely pissed at Dad and Colton, and I don’t want to go to Lazy’s and just wallow with my girlfriends over Ethan’s departure. I check my phone every five minutes, but there’s no message from him.

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