Page 117 of Return To You

So many thoughts, I want to read them all. Starting right this minute. All in one sitting.

I rush to the bathroom, finish my makeup, grab my bag, and flee the house before I break a promise I didn’t make and read all of Ethan’s musings before he’s even on the plane.

Since it’s early, I head to Mom and Dad’s so I can give Dad a massage before I start my day. I haven’t seen them much lately.

“What’s eating at you, sugar bug?” Dad reads my energy. “You miss Ethan already?” his gruff voice rubs me the wrong way today. But does he even remember what he did, back in the day?

“I do miss him, but in a good way,” I answer, focusing my gaze on my dad’s legs. “He’s a good man.”

Dad clears his throat. “I didn’t like it, back in the day. This thing going on between the two a’ya. But uh… maybe… well, I might’ve been a little harsh on him.”

Is this Dad apologizing? Does he even know that I know? There’s no point having an argument, bringing up past wounds. “Other leg,” I tell him, squirting massage oil on my palms and shifting in my seat.

"I just wish…” He interrupts himself, looking past me. “Hey, son.”

Colton is standing in the doorway, hands on his hips. “Car is taken care of.” He drops the keys on a side table and sits next to Dad, elbows on his knees. “Grace, gimme a ride back when you’re done?”

“Course.”

Dad grunts.

Colton looks at him. “You were saying something, Dad. You wish what?”

“Ah, heck.”

“Want me to leave?” Colton provokes him. I wonder if he heard it was Ethan that Dad was talking about. I glance at my brother. We really don’t need this drama now. It’s history. I’m not a teenager anymore, and whatever Dad wishes for won’t change my romantic life, or my opinion of Dad, for that matter.

“All I’m sayin’ is, I wish Gracie Bear had a man to look after her. Not someone who’s here one day, gone the rest of the year.”

I snap my eyes shut for a beat. “I don’t need a man to look after me, Dad.” This is a useless conversation. Why am I even engaging? “I can take care of myself. Been doing that for a long time now.” I flex Dad’s foot, the last part of the treatment I’m giving him today, then pull down the legs of his tracksuit.

“Seems to me Gracie has the best of both worlds,” Mom says, appearing out of nowhere, dressed for work. “Thanks for bringing the car back, honey,” she says to Colton. Then, looking at Dad, continues, “A sweet, strong man to fix her door and deck and then gets out of the way so she can enjoy her peace and quiet.” She cackles, but her pointed look at Dad tells me there might be a smidge of resentment, over a difficult past, that she’s not entirely gotten rid of yet. “Lemme get you your juice and stuff before I leave,” she adds in an effort to soften her last words.

“And you guys wonder why I don’t want to get attached to a woman,” Colton mumbles with a smirk. “Bye, Dad,” he manages to add with affection as I lean in to give Dad a peck on the cheek.

Dad gives us a tired wave. “Bye, kids.”

“Believe it or not, I’m with Dad,” Colton says once we’re in my car. “I don’t like knowing Ethan’s not with you. I guess I just don’t see the point.”

I wave at Ms. Angela watering flowers in front of her bed-and-breakfast. “You have yet to introduce us to anyone… yet you’re not exactly celibate, from what I’ve heard. So what’s your point?”

He shrugs. “It’s different. I don’t care about them. But if I had someone I cared about, I’d tell the Air Force to go fuck themselves.”

“It’s not that simple,” I snap back.

“Yeah, it is.”

He doesn’t get it. “Ethan can’t just up and leave. And what would he do in Emerald Creek anyway? It’s not like there’s jobs in cyber stuff around here.”

Colton bites his fingernails, looking out the window. “He should figure it out.”

Now he’s making me angry. “I thought he was your friend?”

“Doesn’t make him any less of an idiot.”

I pull up to his garage. “This is you,” I drop and stop the car abruptly.

He winks at me. “Thanks for the ride.”

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