Page 112 of Dirty Little Saint

My grandmother looks at me the same way Laurent Erebus looked at me that day in the cabin—like I’m something to be feared and hated.

I don’t dare speak as I wait for her to finish assessing me. The guys stand closer, protectively, and every single one of my sigils burns.

“We’ll shall speak this once. But after tonight, I do not want to see you again.” Her voice is deep and raspy from what sounds like decades of cigarettes and gin.

A twinge of sadness stirs in my chest. I did not expect her to be happy to see me but she’s colder than I could ever imagine. This woman has no love for me or my mother. No remorse for kicking us out twenty-five years ago.

I nod. “I have some questions.”

Her eyes narrow at me. “Not here. Discretion is the tallest pillar in our world. It’s what separates the wolves from the sheep. We shall talk in the library.”

And as if she gave a command through her mind, the rest of the crowd turns away from us, picking their conversations back up as if we’d never entered.

As promised, the guys don’t leave my side. Riot, Atlas, Val, and Felix lean back against the leather couch, their gazes trained on my grandmother. To someone not from our world, they might look silly or over dramatic for being cautious around a seventy-year-old woman. But this is Melancholia and this woman is a Blackwell. We’d be fools to not be on guard.

She wastes no time getting to the point of me being here. “What do you want to know, Maureen?”

My name sounds strange on her tongue. Like she swore to never utter it.

Well, I can be blunt too. “Why did you send us away? Was it because my mother didn’t marry who you wanted her to? Was my father really that repulsive to you that you couldn’t bear to have a grandchild born from him?”

Penny walks over to the hearth and gazes into the fire. “I warned your mother so many times but she wouldn’t listen. She was always a stubborn girl. And a precocious one. Has she really never told you the truth?”

A wave of nausea rolls through me. My sigils are ringing like alarm bells in my ears. Something in my gut tells me I’m not going to like the truth. “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. She says you kicked her out because she got pregnant by a man you didn’t approve of. My father, Sherrif Mason Gray. But she has never shown any love for me or my father. I think there’s more to it and I want you to tell me.”

She snickers. “Mason Gray is not your father. He was my groundskeeper who your mother manipulated into pretending he was so she wouldn’t have to face what she did.”

I look at my guys one by one, my heart hammering in my chest. They all lean forward, just as intrigued as I am at this point. But Felix’s face pales. A flash of recognition sparks in his eyes. What the fuck? He just figured out something that we are all still on pins and needles waiting for.

I feel my cheeks burn with resentment. “Who is my father then, Penny? And what the fuck was so bad about him that you cut us off?” I’m done being polite with this witch.

She turns to look at me, her eyes wild with anger. “A very long time ago, the devil came to Ever Graves. He fell in love with a mortal woman. He became obsessed with her. But she rejected him. So he placed a curse on this town. You see, every time a girl is born here, the devil gives her a nightmare man. An entity that will never leave her side, taunting her until she either gives in or goes mad. And if she gives in, the devil wins. And he spreads more of his evil seed.”

All the blood rushes to my feet, dizzying me. I sit down on the couch next to Riot before my knees give out. I don’t want to hear any more. I think I already know. I swallow hard, willing moisture back into my mouth. “What do you mean… give in?”

Penny hisses. “I’m not going to spell out the debauchery. The filth. Women of this town have always resisted. I resist every night. But your mother was weak. She let him… impregnate her.” She almost chokes on her words. “That vile creature is your real father. You’re an abomination.”

Her revelation knocks the air out of my lungs. No. This can’t be true. But it is. I feel it in my bones. In my sigils. Fuck.

I look at Felix. “Is this why Lib and Villette were born in Raven’s Gate? To avoid the nightmare man?”

Felix runs a shaky hand through his dark hair. “I always thought it was just a myth. A spooky nursery rhyme to scare children. But my parents are superstitious. All of the families here are. They don’t give birth to girls here anymore. They go somewhere else when it’s time.”

“Oh, fuck,” I whimper as a gurgled cry lodges in my throat. “What the fuck am I?” I feel like I’m losing control over my sanity as the room starts to spin.

Val grabs my face. “You are our firecracker. Our dark queen. You’re Maureen Blackwell, the woman we all love. Fuck this old hag. She doesn’t deserve to know you.”

Penny gasps at the insult.

“Yeah, Maur, fuck her,” Atlas adds. “I don’t care if you’re part devil or raven or whatever. You’re ours. That’s all that matters.”

Riot glares daggers at Penny, his fists clenched. He’s on the edge again, wrestling with his own inner demons so he doesn’t erupt into a rampage.

Tears stream down my cheeks. “Your fathers knew. That’s why they were after me. They weren’t trying to bargain with Penny, they wanted to leverage me with the fucking devil himself.”

My grandmother clucks her tongue. “You should be thanking me for sending you away. Thanks to me you were born in Wickford Hollow and don’t have a nightmare man haunting you for the rest of your life.”

I wipe my tears away with my sleeve as my fury builds. “Oh, is that why you did it? For me? Fuck you. You think you’re better than us because you resisted temptation? Like you’re some holy saint who deserves more than the rest of us? Congratulations for keeping your legs closed but fuck you for turning your back on your own flesh and blood.”

---