Page 89 of Dirty Little Saint

“Okay, talk,” she mumbles between bites.

I rub my sweaty palms over my tweed skirt. Well, here goes nothing. An impulsive gesture to say the least. “First of all, I’m not here to apologize.”

Her eyes widen as she almost chokes on a pink macaron.

Oh, fuck. I’m losing her.

“Not for feeling the way I do about your brother. I am not sorry for that. What I came to apologize for is how I’ve treated you.” I sit down on a chair and lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “I shouldn’t have kept you in the dark. Friendship is about trust. I didn’t give that to you, and it was wrong. So I’m going to tell you everything now.”

She takes another swig of champagne and wipes her mouth on her sleeve. “Go on.”

I tap my foot on the floor as the knots in my stomach twist. “The guys didn’t stab Zeke to death. I did. He was trying to hurt me.”

Her mouth drops open. “Maur…”

I shake my head. “I’m dealing with it… During the break, we visited Riot’s father, and he did… unspeakable things to me. Punished me. Humiliated me.” My voice cracks, and I almost don’t continue.

She sets the champagne down. “You’re safe with me, Maur. It’s okay.”

I breathe in a deep breath. “When we got back to Tenebrose, I started getting disgusting texts from an unknown number. Atlas tracked the stalker down. It turns out he was hired by Atlas’s father.”

Villette hands me the champagne. “I think you need this more than I do.”

I chuckle and happily take it from her. “The stalker, Barnaby Withers… I killed him too.”

She moves to the edge of the bed, closer to where I’m sitting.

I take a swig. The champagne fizzes on my tongue, coating my throat with liquid courage. “I’ve been getting more sigils, growing my power. My connection to the guys. But with that comes consequences. Nothing in this life is free. There’s been a dark energy growing in me… Until I met Felix.”

She covers my hand with hers and gently squeezes. “Tell me how you feel about him.”

I sigh as tears stream down my cheeks. “He has a light in him. Being with him is like taking a hot shower after you’ve been caught in a snowstorm without food or water for days. The guys want him because he has power. Because the five of us together will have more than a fighting chance against the elders. But it’s more than that for me. Felix and I… we’re poetry. Like lighting in a bottle. He makes me feel like I can do anything. Be anything.”

Villette nods. “I understand. Felix has been troubled for a very long time. He’s battled bouts of depression. There were times that I thought I’d lost him forever. But he’s been different since he got here. There’s a light in him that he’s never had. Maybe it’s because of you. Or because he isn’t stifling his power anymore.”

I choke back another sob, washing it down with another gulp of champagne. “I’m sorry, Villette. I know how much you hate Nocturnus. I wish it wasn’t your brother. For your sake and for our friendship, I’d give anything to have it be different.”

She holds tighter to my hand. “I’ve been so blind. I should have made you feel comfortable telling me these things. Through my selfish need to have my brother back and the ingrained hatred I have for Nocturnus, I’ve neglected you. My best friend. That’s on me, Maur. I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “No. I ruin everything. You were right to be angry.”

She leaps up and cups my face in her hands. “Maur, listen to me. I love my brother. But I also love you. If Felix can help keep you safe, then I demand that you stay with him. If Nocturnus is the reason he’s no longer walking around like a zombie, then I will back him. I will back all of you.”

I throw my arms around her and sob into her neck. “I love you too, Villette. The past few weeks have been agony without you. I’ve missed you so much.”

She rubs my back. “From now on, no more secrets. No more holding back. We tell each other everything. Well, leave out the dirty stuff with my brother, please.”

I snort through a half-sob, half-laugh. “Deal.”

“What are you going to do about the elders?”

I like this new openness between us. It feels like a thousand weights have been lifted off my chest. “Nothing until we find out when they’re meeting. We need them to be at the same place at the same time.”

She nods. “I know I don’t have powers, but let me know if I can do anything.”

I hug her again. “You can come and get really drunk with me at the Spring Equinox Ball tonight.”

She squeals in delight. “Yes. I hated dress shopping without you…”

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