Page 76 of Dirty Little Saint

She hates Nocturnus. And after she finds out about all of this… she’s going to hate me.

How the fuck am I going to manage this one?

Footsteps echo behind us.

“You two all right?”

I let go of Felix’s hand and leap from the pew. I rush toward Val and fall into his arms. He rubs my back. “It’s okay, love. Tell me what happened.”

Felix stands to face us. “She lost control, and the ravens attacked my students.”

Val sighs. “So, you in or out then?”

I gaze up at Val. “He said yes to my crazy.”

Felix rests his hand on my shoulder. The same way he did to break me out of my trance. “In absentia lucis, tenebrae vincunt. You’re not crazy, Little Raven. You’ve just been swallowed up by too much darkness.”

Val side-eyes him. “That’s what Nocturnus is.”

Felix shakes his head. “No. It’s what you do. But dark cannot exist without light. Even Edgar Allan Poe knew that when he lost his Annabel Lee.”

I walk between them as we make our way back to Nocturnus House. As we pass the Nest, I stop and look up at the ominous building.

“I need to talk to your sister first. She’s been nothing but kind to me, and I refuse to keep this from her.” My heart literally hurts at the thought of what she’s going to think of me. How she’s going to feel when she learns her big brother is becoming everything she stands against.

Felix grabs my hand. “We’ll tell her together.”

Val glares down at our clasped hands. “I’ll wait in the car. I left it in the lot this morning. Don’t take too long. Riot and Atlas are waiting.”

We take the elevator up to Villette’s floor, our nerves wrecked. When she opens the door, her gaze falls to our clasped hands, her smile fading instantly. Confusion turns to fear and then to anger. “No,” she pleads.

“Villette, let me explain,” I beg.

She shakes her head and backs away from us. “Felix, no. Not you too. Papa will not allow it.”

Felix gently grabs her shoulders. “I’m a grown man, Lettie. I don’t need our father’s permission. This is what I want.”

“And you.” She charges toward me. “You’re supposed to be my friend. Ever since you got here, people have turned up either dead or missing. But I stuck by you. And this is how you repay me? By going after my brother? Isn’t three guys enough for you?”

Fuck. It’s worse than I thought. So much worse. “Villette, please. I didn’t mean to hurt you. We’re drawn to each other. Felix, and me…We’re connected.”

“She’s why I came here, Lettie. I’ve been haunted by her ever since you sent me that picture of the two of you at the ball. When I learned who she was, who Nocturnus was, I couldn’t stay away any longer. Papa pulled some strings to get me a position here at Tenebrose.”

“But you lied to him about it,” she yells. “You took advantage of him so you could drink poison and stab people and fuck my best friend.” She chokes back a sob.

Tears stream down my cheeks. I’m breaking her heart. I’m ruining everything. Fuck.

Felix cups her face. “You know how I’ve struggled,” he admits. “I’ve been in a dark place for a long time. Something evil had a hold on me. That’s gone now. Every second I spend here… with her… I feel freer.”

She looks down at the floor. “I thought you came here to be closer to me. I was so happy to have my brother back. But now… they’re going to take you away. You’ll always choose them first.”

“NO,” I shout. I shake my head. “I won’t let that happen. You’re his sister. I won’t let him choose us over you. I promise.”

There aren’t many things I have control over right now. But I’ll be damned if I let anyone else break her spirit. She’s a good person. The best person I know. The guys will not fight me on this. There are some things that are too sacred to break.

“Mirame, Lettie. Look at me. I will always protect you. I love you more than anything. Please give me your blessing.” Within moments, he goes from looking like a cocky professor to a scared schoolboy. His vulnerability is his strength. There are so many layers to this man that I’ve only barely scratched the surface on.

She wipes her eyes on his shirt. “Because I love you, I will try… But you,” she glares daggers at me. “You’re canceled. I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

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