Page 35 of Presence

“Who are you and what have you done with Claire McClain?” she jokes, her tone light-hearted, though the worry in her eyes tells a different story. It’s hard to meet her gaze and keep lying, but I tell myself it’s for the best. For both of us.

“What can I say? Your ritual worked wonders on me. I don’t know, I feel like battling my fears or something. That girl who was so scared of taking pills needs to go,” I force the words out, tasting the bitterness in them. I wish they were true, but they’re just a cover, a painful, ugly lie.

But Camilla buys it. Her eyes widen with surprise and pride flickers across her face as she nods thoughtfully.

“Wow, okay,” she breathes out, clearly not expecting that from me. Honestly, neither did I.

Before I met Echo, the best thing I could imagine was to never meet anyone else besides Cam, ever. I didn’t want anyone to see how fucked up I am on the inside. Fuck, I still don’t. But now here I am, painting myself as some kind of rebranded version of Claire, ready to take on anything that’s held me back.

It’s pathetic, really, to lie like this, but I panicked, and now it’s out there. And it works. Camilla’s face lights up. If I weren’t in such a mess, I’d hug her and cry because she’s such a good friend.

Instead, I clench my fist, digging my nails into my palm to feel something else, and say, “Unless you think I’m overdoing it...? I don’t want to dive in too deep, but I think I’m ready, you know? This thing with my mom has weighed on me for so long and…”

Low blow, Claire… Seriously, low fucking blow. Cam’s been trying to get me to open up about my mother for ages. She wasn’t pushy, just supportive and letting me know she was there if I ever wanted to vent. Now I’m just taking advantage of her kindness.

“No, no, no,” she cuts me off. “You should definitely go for it. Normally, I’d be the last person to hand out pills. I’d tell anyone else to see a doctor, but...” She purses her lips. “I agree with you. Do it now that you’re ready. Don’t wait. And don’t go to the doctor. I know how scary this must be for you…”

“I swear I won’t chase them with whiskey,” I joke, laughing nervously. Her eyes only widen. Fuck.

“Yeah, okay. I can grab some from my place. I’ll bring them over tomorrow, okay?”

“Could you bring them tonight?” I press. Her eyes widen even more.

“Tonight?” she repeats, pausing. “Uh, yeah, I can do that. Looks like I’ll be pushing Jackson’s patience again,” she jokes, though you can still sense her worry underneath. She agrees, showing her loyalty as she heads for the door. “I’ll be back as quick as I can,” she promises, her voice serious even though she’s trying to keep it light.

I have to give it to her, she’s a golden friend. Two hours later, I’m sitting on my bed, a pill in one hand and a glass of water in the other. The sun is still hanging in the sky, but I couldn’t care less. All that matters is slipping into the dreamscape before that menacing force starts its torment.

I push thoughts of my mother aside, pop the pill, and chase it down with a quick gulp of water. I tell myself I do this for safety, for sanity. But deep down, I know it’s mostly out of fear.

After all, I’m just a grown woman, petrified of the dark, seeking an escape.

Well, even if I wanted to stop it now, it’s too late. The pill is swallowed, and the clock is ticking.

12

Intention is Key

I used to think I’d never get a glimpse of heaven. Whenever I thought about life after death, I figured I’d just stop existing—my body and brain breaking down into new chemicals, my remains scattered on earth, and my thoughts fading away until I was gone.

But here I am, in a place way better than any human idea of heaven. Who needs that version of heaven when I have my dreamscape? This... this is my real paradise.

The rustling of giant leaves, the hum of water cascading down a waterfall, birds singing in the distance, and the sun warmly kissing my skin without causing harm. I soak it all in, taking a deep breath because I’ve made it.

I’m here. I made it.

I feel like crying tears of happiness because I’ve missed this place so much. It’s funny. I’ve only been here twice, but it already feels more like home than my apartment. This feels more real to me than anything else.

It’s different, though. I think that the gap between my memories and this place is fading. I remember everything, even the dreams I had forgotten. I remember my talk with that presence on the phone when it hijacked my conversation with Camilla. I also remember the walk to the shop. Honestly, I feel more like myself overall. It’s like some kind of veil lifted. The fog is gone from my mind.

But that doesn’t make my experiences here any less intense. The moss between my toes feels just as soft as I remember, maybe even softer. My body feels rejuvenated, like I could run marathons with the stamina and endurance of a god. My heart beats steadily, pumping blood through my strong limbs and agile joints.

I’m super aware of my needs, desires, and sexuality. It’s like every part of me is coming together, merging from separate functions into a complete whole.

I feel better than ever.

“Echo?” I call out, my voice carried by the breeze, light and full of joy. My chest feels like it might burst from all the happiness inside me.

The thrill of my victory rushes through me as I take in the familiar sights of this place. The high canopies, the twinkling magical lights, the vivid green leaves… The nightmares seem so far away suddenly. For a moment I’m just wrapped in the comfort of this place, forgetting everything bad that has happened to me.

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