Page 61 of Freeing My Alpha

I try to swallow my disappointment as I climb onto his lap, nuzzling into his neck to hide my embarrassment.

Noah nuzzles my head twice as hard. “Just for now. We’ll get you there.”

He hugs my hips into his lap with one arm, sliding up my skirt with the other. Caressing my ass, his hand slips lower until he strokes my clothed labia through our kiss. I’m so sensitive that I jolt in his lap, tingles whispering down my legs at his delicate touch.

My heart pounds, sensing more and more wolf eyes on us. It only deepens my craving for Noah.

My thighs spread over his lap on their own, a soft moan escaping my lips through our kiss. Every inch of me begs for more, even as nocturnal eyes glint in the distance over Noah’s shoulder, so I decide to lean in. I let my hips dip into Noah’s touch until his fingers prod my entrance through my soaked panties. As I rub my clit over his stiff shaft, I kiss him as hard as I can, seeking his purring reaction.

When he gives it to me—his growl humming into my throat—I whip open his belt. Its icy metal ornaments sting my overheated fingers as I free his cock.

Noah’s breath shudders as I thumb over his wet tip, making him gush a little more precum.

“Omega,” Noah breathes.

I want to hear more of him.

And I want to hear his lips gasping for air beside my ear as he burrows inside me. Losing the rest of my patience, I slide my panties out of the way, preparing him to enter me.

But the second he prods my entrance, I suck in a pained breath.

Noah jolts back, lifting my hips off him. “D-did that hurt?”

It did.

Just like it used to, after what Steven did. It’s the same, searing pain I had to train myself out of with Prolonged Exposure therapy, sex toys, and years of horrified, frustrated tears, unable to escape the feeling that Steven broke me.

Every sexual feeling in my body evaporates, replaced by panic.

“No, no, no— this can’t be happening!” I gasp, gripping Noah for dear life. “I can’t hurt like this again— You finally helped me feel good again—”

Noah squeezes me close, snapping me out of my thoughts before they swallow me. “Breathe. Look at me, and breathe.”

I nod, peeking up at him. My bottom lip quivers through the start of tears.

Noah kisses it. “It’s okay. It’s okay if it hurts right now.”

I deflate. “But how? What if it never gets better? What if I leave you frustrated forever, and—”

“All we know is what's happening now.” Noah nuzzles his mark on my neck, a shockwave of his pain and love sinking into me.

A full sob escapes my lips. “It might not be just now, Noah. This started happening to me after he broke in, and it took forever for sex to stop hurting again.”

Massaging my scalp, Noah’s side of our bond aches with heavy concern. After a few more of my sharp sobs, Noah softens his voice.

“Your body probably just needs time after such an awful trigger. But if it never gets better, I still wouldn't blame you for how someone else hurt you.” Despite how delicately his words graze over my lips, they ripple gravity-bending emotions through us both. “Please, please, Aliya, don’t tell yourself it’s your job to make sure I’m not sexually frustrated. I never want to hurt you during sex just to get off. That’s horrific.”

I whimper against his chest. Noah is flaccid beneath me, rooting my fears further in reality.

“But I want you inside of me. I want to have a baby with you, or at least to connect with you closely in all ways, including all types of sex.” I choke out tears. “What if we'll never be able to do that again?”

“Let’s not think like that. We can't predict the future, yeah?”

“Y-yeah...”

He licks my mark, making my eyelids flutter with a burst of endorphins. “We can teach your body that it’s safe now. Right here with me, in my arms.”

“Noah, I—” I swallow back a sob threatening to escape. “I still want you tonight. I know I seem like I need to recover, but I’m on the verge of heat. I think you really could get me pregnant.”

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