Page 56 of Freeing My Alpha

“Because he made me so afraid! I'm going to have to live in fear, forever, and it's all his fault!”

Noah has to cling to the mattress with a firmer hold, my fury nearly tearing it from his grasp.

“He ruined sex for me, making it impossible to feel good! He made me think I deserved it!”

I rip into the largest remaining chunk of foam with my teeth, muffling my tears with it. As I spit it out, I grab the mattress for myself, and Noah gladly allows me.

When I see his chest heaving through heavy, face-contorting tears, I only cry harder.

“I hate how he made you have to do this with me!” I throw the mattress down, stomping it into the dirt.

When my foot snags on the rip, Noah is there to catch me before I fall, wrapping his arms around my waist. He sobs into my shoulder harder than I’ve ever heard him cry, tearing my heart in half. I drop to the mattress on my knees with him, hugging his arms around my waist as he curls over me.

“I wish I was there,” he says. “I wanted to be there. I wanted to meet you so badly. I just didn't know who you were. I wish I knew.”

No matter how desperate he is to hide his face, I force my body to turn until he allows me to dive for his chest.

Hugging his head to my pounding heart, I take a deep breath. To my surprise, I finally feel like I can breathe.

Dropping my head to the sky, I let out the heaviest exhale I have in years.

Noah rubs my whole back, kissing my collarbone. “You did so well. Thank you.”

I don’t understand exactly why he’s thanking me, but for whatever reason it makes me smile.

Then I laugh, relief flooding my system.

Noah pops up, startled.

“I’m not there anymore, Noah. I made it out.” I laugh again, hugging his head. “And now I’m sitting in the middle of the forest. With my mate, who I love to have sex with. Who I feel good with... Surrounded by tiny little pieces of a mattress that we’re going to have to clean up.”

Noah shakes his head, breaking into a soft chuckle. “I fucking love you—”

Smashing my lips against Noah’s, I hum into his mouth as his arms squeeze my entire torso from head to hips. His cold, wet cheeks slip against mine, his body flush to mine as I work his tongue.

But as I break away to catch my breath, exhausted doesn’t begin to describe me.

“Noah, thank you.” My voice comes out hoarse and weak.

“You did so well, beautiful.” Noah whimpers over me, kissing my cheeks all over.

I’m too tired to keep crying, closing my eyes as I soak in every kiss.

“Good job. Rest now,” he mutters against my lips.

After cuddling for a while, Noah helps me mindlessly collect each shred of the mattress, storing it in trash bags. We leave the barren mattress frame to slump against my parents’ cottage like a dying flower.

14

Destroying that mattress zapped the energy out of my cells. The rest of the week, I use every ounce of my energy reserve on my job, coming home to Noah’s cozy cabin to sleep off mind-numbing exhaustion.

I’m too tired to deal with my parents’ cottage, so for now I’m living out of two suitcases. I don’t even mind it, as long as I’m living with sweet Noah. But when I come home from work on Friday to Noah’s empty cabin, I find my clothes neatly sorted into one half of Noah’s bedroom dresser and closet. For some reason, this silent gesture makes me feel more at home than I have in years.

The night of the Full Moon Ceremony, neither of us speak a word. We’ve traded between kissing and sleeping in each other’s arms all afternoon. Noah’s bedroom—our bedroom—is a blend of our sleepy scent.

An hour after sunset, Noah pries himself from me with a sigh.

I flop my hand out of our warm cocoon to grip his hand. “Don’t be sad. I’m coming with you.”

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