Page 50 of Freeing My Alpha

“Shut up!” I growl.

I close my eyes, feeling immediately foolish for yelling back at my intrusive thoughts.

Okay, let's try that again. Maybe I locked the door, or maybe I didn’t. I don’t know. Right now, I’m resting in bed. Waiting for Noah. That's all I have to accomplish at the moment.

Redirecting my thoughts to the present allows any remaining intrusive thoughts to brush past me. After a few minutes, I notice my back and neck aching.

I’m so tired. I forgot how draining trauma can feel.

My eyes zip open. What if I'm pregnant and all this stress is hurting the baby?

Fear worms its way back into my mind, stirring my limbs in hot acid. Hugging Noah’s pillow against my stomach, I burrow into his scent, allowing it to soothe me.

I’ve slept with Noah most nights, trading beds and houses every few days since we still haven’t moved in together. Now that I think about it, I haven’t had a PTSD nightmare since I met Noah, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. I feel so safe beside him.

I let my mind seek Noah's wolf in our bond, forgetting everything else for a while. I don’t know where he is exactly, but I can feel his paws rushing across the forest floor. As my eyelids droop, I live through his wolf, filled with his determination to return to his mate’s side.

But he's not here yet. It's too early to fall asleep.

My eyes jerk back open. Noah, I’m afraid to fall asleep and have flashback nightmares.

Our bond ripples in shared pain, pushing a whimper out of me.

Oh, sweet Omega... I’ll be there soon. Just rest, and don’t be so hard on yourself, okay? Everything will be okay. Maybe not great, but okay. We’ll find a way to get through whatever happens, together.

I cling to his words as tight as I hug his pillow, unable to respond from how exhausted I am.

But then I have the dream. Not the good one with Noah, and not the bad one where my parents are dying again. The one about the lock. I know exactly how this dream ends, but every time, it makes me scream.

Because I know it’s not just a dream. It really happened.

When I wake up already shrieking, I want to believe I’m still dreaming. There’s a shadow of a man in my dark room.

13

My screams shift from grief to panic. I grip my blankets to shield my body from the man’s reach. But he approaches anyway, his voice barely registerable beneath my shrieks.

No! I can’t let this repeat!

Extending my claws, I slash his outstretched arm as hard as I can.

“Fuck!” Noah backs himself up against the wall beneath my window, gripping his bleeding arm.

Guilt crushes my heart, pushing a sob from me. But as Noah stops the blood with heavy licks, he's only focused on me.

It’s just me! I'm not going to hurt you.

I scramble off the bed after him, clinging to him so hard that my fingers hurt. “I'm so sorry! I'm terrible, I—”

“Stop. Please, stop. I’m so sorry for scaring you so badly.” Noah’s voice shakes in agony, and it guts me. “I should've known better when you're already feeling so—”

My breath catches when I think I hear the front door squeak. “N-no! He’s back! He’s here—”

Noah releases a heavy waft of his Alpha musk, and before I can register it, my neck falls slack in submission. He licks my mark, heavy and wet strokes sinking me to my knees. He drops to the carpet with me, allowing my limp body to quiver in his embrace.

Noah’s gentle voice softens even more for me. “I don’t smell anyone else here. It’s just you and me, sweet Omega.”

“N-no... Please, he’s going to—”

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