Page 31 of Freeing My Alpha

“Beautiful,” I choke out, my heart pounding into overwhelm. “Oh, my God, she’s so little.”

“She’s only 20 months old,” Amy whimpers.

Noah sucks in a sharp breath, leaning over my shoulder to view her with us. As Amy and I continue to melt into a puddle of mush, Noah’s eyes rim in red—except he has the biggest smile he can manage.

“I can feel how much you already love her,” he mutters.

Amy whimpers, burrowing her face into her pillow. I rub Amy’s back, my heart aching as a massive wave of tumultuous emotions pour from her scent. Noah catches my eyes in concern, and I bite my lip.

“A., I can only guess how overwhelming or exciting this must be, but I don’t fully understand what’s making you smell so sad. I can feel how much you want this, but—”

Amy lifts her head to suck in desperate air. When she speaks, her voice is clouded with congestion. “But that’s just it. I want this, but does she? She lost everything already. What if I’m not enough for her? What if I fail her?”

My heart rips. I shut my eyes, breathing through Amy’s pained cries.

I snuggle up to her side as tight as I can press. “All you can do is your best. And from all the love you’ve given me, I know your best can save her life, no matter how imperfect your best might be.”

Amy drops her hot forehead into my chest and releases the rest of her tears. With Noah and my hands on her back, it only takes two full minutes of Amy letting it all out for her breath to slow, her eyes falling shut to my gentle scratches against her scalp.

“You’re right. She needs us, either way. Her biological parents passed, one after the other, and there are too many other pups to adopt. The orphan rate is higher than ever with all the Rogues seeking asylum and dying from broken mate bonds,” Amy mutters.

I glance up at Noah, startled by this.

He nods, but he can’t bear to hold eye contact. “A lot of Rogue Omegas are sacrificing their lives, escaping abuse and dying from broken mate bonds in exchange for their pups’ safety. But the orphan rate is higher than humans for Lycans in general with how many mates die together, leaving their kids.”

My stomach drops. “I never thought through how much higher it’d be.”

But now that I am thinking about it, my heart speeds into a sprint. Noah and I are interlocked so deeply, there’s no way we won’t both die when one of us does. What’s going to happen to our future kids? Is it irresponsible of me to want them, just to guarantee them to be left all alone later in life? Maybe even early in life, with how much danger Noah faces daily? I know he doesn’t tell me how bad it really is, and the more I’ve listened to small hints lately, the worse his situation has seemed.

Noah’s hand lands on my shoulder, and I jump. He shoots me an apologetic glance, his forehead knitted and eyes scanning my face. Are you okay?

I sigh, adjusting my cuddle on Amy until we’ve mashed into one tangled unit. Yeah, mostly. That’s just a scary thought.

It is. He drops his stare, analyzing Amy’s slackening body in my arms. But it’s life, isn’t it? Like you’ve said to me, everything in life except death is uncertain.

I swallow hard. He’s right, it is life. Now that I know I’m a Lycan, I can’t escape this added complication to my own mortality.

Of course no one likes death, but to imagine my dear Noah leaving this earth? My eyes brim with tears, but my body doesn’t stop there. A literal, physical pain hammers on my heart, restarting my breath as I wince. I nuzzle Amy’s cheek to soothe myself, and she nuzzles harder back, still half asleep. But before I can torture myself any further, a soft knock at Amy’s bedroom doorframe turns all three of our heads.

Kira gives us a sad smile. “Mind if I join you?”

8

With Amy bundled in a blanket burrito on Kira’s lap, I snuggle into Noah’s side on the royal blue tufted couch we thrifted for Amy and Kira’s first apartment back in college.

Amy is much calmer now, a dazed, blissful look glossing her swollen eyes as Kira plants delicate kisses on her forehead.

We’ve sat in a comfortable silence, Kira and Amy muttering about Kira’s leaving work early without telling Amy. But one thing I know about loving an Alpha is that there’s no way Kira would leave Amy to feel so small and unsafe all alone in their bed. It was only a matter of time before pure instinct drove Kira back home.

But my mind can’t stop whirring. I can’t focus long enough to be present for my best friend.

Noah’s concerned glances heighten the nerves along my neck. Come with me for a minute. He retracts his arm from over my shoulders to stand. “Does anyone need water?”

I stand too. “Or a snack?”

Kira gives us a soft smile. “That’d be nice.”

I follow close behind Noah’s wide shoulders to Amy and Kira’s small kitchen. Boxed in by soft gray cabinets and clean white tile countertops, Noah looks even larger as he turns to me.

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