Page 19 of Freeing My Alpha

“No, it feels like you’re saving her,” I say. “That version of me who felt so alone and scared that day.”

“Fuck.” Noah’s watery whisper tugs at my chest’s core. He kisses the top of my head, but I can feel his lips quivering as his breath shudders through fresh tears. “She wasn’t trash.”

Whimpering through another sob, I grip Noah as hard as I can.

We hold each other in silence until our tears run out. After what must be an hour of nuzzling, tracing each other’s features, and gentle massages of each other’s arms and backs, Noah and I shift into a smiling exhaustion.

It’s weird; I couldn’t imagine smiling after spending a whole day working through past traumas. But the longer I gaze into Noah’s adoring eyes in front of me, the less I can stop myself from giggling. He laughs, wrapping me in his arms until I hum through the endorphins from his deep, satiating squeeze.

“Fuck, you’re too cute. How did I get smushed down here with you, sweet Omega? I don’t remember.” Noah whispers. His smile widens as I purr against his chest.

“You’re right, I don’t remember us choosing to be sandwiched between the couch and coffee table either, but I love it. What started this whole thing again?”

Noah chuckles. “Just your annoying mate’s paranoia kicking in, or something.”

Then my eyes snap wide open.

No, this all started because Noah was thinking about having kids with me.

As I gape at him, Noah’s eyebrows raise higher and higher. “W-what?”

“You’ve been—” I bite my lips. I never thought I’d be able to say this to someone. My heartbeat thrums into my ears. “You’ve been thinking about having a baby with me?”

5

Noah ducks his head, breaking into the sweetest, shiest smile. “O-oh. Yeah, I have thought about it. A lot.”

I dissolve into uncontainable giggles. It terrifies me for a second: I don’t want to celebrate a promise for future kids too early. Not again.

But I can’t stop myself. With how sweet and shy Noah looks, laughter spills out of me, filling my parents’ old living room with my excitement.

Noah takes breath after breath, in an apparent struggle to speak, until he exhales hard, dropping his stare. “Fuck. I keep imagining you with Sarah in your arms during Rainn’s class. And her little heart, it felt so happy, and I—” Noah exhales hard again, shaking his head. “I can’t believe how lucky I got. That you might— You might w-want that— with me.”

I grip my heart to keep it from bursting. When Noah glances at me, anxiety creases his features, but I can’t suppress the deep, elated grin from erupting from me. We break into shy laughter, dropping our foreheads together.

“I can’t believe you might want that with me,” I say.

“I do,” he whispers. He can’t look at me, but he said it.

“Noah,” I whisper.

He peeks up at me. We stare into each other’s eyes, forehead to forehead. Neither of us speak, but it’s not silent; our anxious breaths tangle between us, heating my cheeks.

“I really do too.” My voice shakes, but my confession rips through me, excitement and nerves sending my nervous system through the roof.

“I know, I— I can feel it. B-but I also get the sense you’ve put a lot of thought into it,” Noah mutters. “Having kids and how you want to raise them, I mean.”

All I can do is nod. I don’t know where to start. How much excitement might be too much? What if I scare him away?

But Noah can’t bear to look at me. “I-I don’t know, I’m a little nervous about that. Not because I haven’t thought about it, but after the whole Forest School thing, I realized how much I don’t know about what human kids need to learn. When you find out what I’m like raising kids, I’ll probably seem a little— I don’t know. Immature.”

I sit back, cupping his cheeks in my hands. “What I’ve seen of you around kids hasn’t been immature. Far from it. You’re their favorite role model in the world, and an absolute sweetheart to them.”

He ducks his head, burrowing into my neck before breaking into shy giggles. “Don’t compliment me to my face.”

I sputter out a laugh. “Noah, I’m serious! You don’t need to have the same knowledge as me. It’s all about what we bring to the table together, right?”

Noah sucks in a heavy breath, then holds it. My words catch up to me, heating my cheeks. I groan, burrowing my head into Noah’s shoulder.

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