Page 103 of Freeing My Alpha

I nod, combing through his soft hair.

“That’s why I wanted to see if I could help, somehow. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe it really is a physical wound too. Our body definitely remembers, even if we can’t see it anymore with our eyes.”

His words strike my core.

Noah's thoughts about PTSD resonate deeper than what anyone else has said to me about the disorder. I hate to think of why he understands so well. Whatever happened to him, it's still buried too deep for me to ask.

Noah continues, “So, if it’s okay with you, I’m going to think about what you’ve told me. If I know the wound, it helps me know how to heal it.”

There’s an extended silence, my chest rapidly rising and falling. “You want to think about the spots he hurt me the most... On purpose?”

Noah nods, his puppy-dog stare tearing at my heartstrings. “I-I can't promise it'll work, but Prolonged Exposure, and all—” He shrugs, giving me an earnest stare. “Maybe it's worth a try to sit with it for a bit.”

He's right. That's what I had to do with Jenny to get as far as I have with my trauma healing. His idea of acknowledging my pain directly is better than just waiting it out, especially because I know PE works incredibly well on me. Which means I really do want to tell Noah where it usually hurts.

I’m just afraid to say it out loud. Afraid to make Noah think about it. To allow someone else to carry the sharp, vomit-inducing fear I store in my core—the source of this pain.

But Noah couldn't be clearer about what he’s comfortable with. He's staring me deep in the eyes, fingertips brushing over my groin until I flex.

Noah’s eyes widen as I point out an invisible scar to him.

“H-here. This part hurts if I’m not warmed up enough, ever since—” I swallow my pounding heart before it leaps from my throat. “Since then.”

Noah’s emotions rattle and warp through me, hitting me like an icy wave.

But as he slips his hands beneath my hips, tilting me to face him, he gives that spot a gentle, slow lick.

I gasp through it, afraid of what I might feel.

To my surprise, it’s the best thing I’ve felt in a while. The soft pad of his tongue glides over my sensitive skin, loosening a bit more of the tension in my belly with its radiating warmth.

“Where else?” Noah’s breathy whisper sinks into my core, and I squirm.

With shaking hands, I open myself up to him to point out another, deeper spot.

I can't believe we're doing this. Noah looks so serious. With no hesitation, Noah sticks his finger into his mouth, coating it in spit. My heart leaps as he holds eye contact, gliding his finger deep into his throat. My wolf goes wild. But Noah is so focused, he doesn’t seem fazed by what he’s doing.

When he slips his wet finger into me, he rubs the portion that keeps stinging lately.

But it doesn’t sting today. His gentle touch flutters my eyelids. In combination with soft kisses across my clit, Noah’s sweeping prodding sends a drip of fluid onto the couch cushions.

“I’ll come back to that spot.” He removes his finger with a nod, noting the heaviness of my breath as he stares at my gaping lips.

I’m turned on by how soaked his hand is as it scoops beneath my ass, angling me against his tongue. When he licks the entire base of me, I let out a shuddering gasp at how potent it feels. My knees pop open on their own, begging for deeper attention between them.

Noah’s eyes flick up at me, absorbing my heaving reaction as my gasps shift into moaning pleasure.

His next lick is slower. Harder. Extending all the way up one side of my labia. My hips tilt into his tongue as it sinks pressure into me, nudging my nerves into action.

But he doesn’t give me time to recover before licking me there again. And again.

By the time I’m squirming, he switches to the other side.

“Ahn— Noah—” My head drops back with a heaving breath, and Noah softly purrs against my clit. It makes my hips twist in his hands, so Noah grips them harder, squeezing entire handfuls of my ass.

A sudden rush of fluid slips out at his tongue’s massage, coating Noah’s chin. I gasp.

“S-sor—”

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