Page 88 of Freeing My Alpha

“It’s not your fault, Noah. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He’s silent for a long time.

Eventually, his whisper comes out like it’s scraping the back of his throat. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m really sure it was nothing you did. I just—” My lips wobble, choking me out. I can’t stop my voice from shaking no matter how hard I try; despair hits me full force. “I was so excited to move forward with you. All my hopes came crashing down when I saw how upset you looked.”

“Oh, sweet—” Noah blinks hard and fast, his eyes rimmed in red. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Steven really fucked my life up. I’m so sick of it.”

Noah nods, hugging me closer. “I’d never hurt you like that on purpose.”

“I know. I trust you still, Noah. It wasn’t your fault, I swear.”

He doesn’t respond, stroking my head until my tears slow. I’m grateful for his doting touch as he helps me eat my breakfast, still holding me close as I chew.

My heart remains shattered throughout the school day, hating how much poor Noah hurts alongside me. Lycan toddlers in particular notice my reeking sadness, my heartbroken scent clinging to the air around me like a needy parasite.

I hate that this is one of my last days with my students. I’m smiling, but I can’t bring myself to fully fake it. Kids can always tell.

At snacktime, Andy tugs on my shirt. “Miss Matsuoka?”

“Yes, Andy?”

He keeps tugging on my shirt, so I bend closer. His little hand cups around my ear, preparing for his sloppy whisper. “You’re supposed to say, ‘I need attention.’”

A smile spreads across my face, taking the place of tears. But even deeper, my chest burns with guilt. It's not his responsibility to worry about me. I'm a terrible teacher today.

I squat to his level, opening my arms for a hug. “Wow! You're doing such an amazing job at knowing how to ask for what you need, Andy!”

He hugs me as hard as he can, spurring a giggle from me.

“Don’t worry about me, okay? It’s not your job to help me; it’s my job to help you.”

Andy puffs his chest, pulling back to face me with a frown. “But I’m an Alpha! I have to protect my Luna!”

“Andy.” I lower to a whisper, hoping he copies my energy before humans take notice. He falls silent, leaning in to listen. “You’re right; you're an Alpha. But I’m also your teacher. At school, it’s your job to be a student and have fun while you learn, okay? Not to take care of me.”

He drops my stare, his brows furrowing.

“I mean it, buddy. I’m so proud of you and all you’ve learned this year.” I hold his shoulders. “I just want you to know it’s never a kid’s job to take care of the adults.”

Then he peeks up at me, asking the same question I used to when I was young. “Why not?”

I wait for him to fully look at me, making sure he knows I’m serious. “Sometimes adults have big emotions, just like kids do, but adults have had many, many years to learn how to take care of themselves. Do you know how old I am?”

“Ten?” He mutters.

I smile. “Twenty-nine.”

Andy’s eyes bulge. “Are you an old lady?”

I bust out laughing. “Maybe! I’m very old compared to four, right?”

“Yeah.” Andy squares his shoulders. “But I can do things all by myself too.”

“You’re right, you’re so good at learning how to do so many things lately! And it’s okay to still be learning. Kids haven’t had a chance to learn all of the same things as adults have just yet.” With Andy’s nod, I smile. “That’s why it’s our job as adults to teach you. It’s not fair for adults to ask you to take care of them. We need to go to other adults for that help.”

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