Page 127 of Freeing My Alpha

Natalia rubs my arm, but it doesn’t soothe Noah’s poor heart throbbing against my ear. I shut my eyes, breathing through the heavy ache in my gut. I know I can’t change or choose my DNA, but I feel guilty that Noah hurts over this too.

But as he kisses my head, running his hand over my back, he lets out a sharp huff. “Thank you so much for looking into this, Natalia. Please, let me know how we can help her. I’ll do whatever I can.”

Oh. I can’t choose my DNA, but I did choose Noah to bind my DNA with to have a child. And he chose me.

Noah perks up. “The blood from my wounds. She seemed— Uh, really into its smell, earlier. Anemia is a pregnancy risk, right?”

“Absolutely, and with just one look at you, Luna, I’d suspect that too. Luckily, this one is easy for us to take care of, and common with Lycan pregnancies if the carrier isn’t eating enough meat.”

Natalia launches into an explanation on how to better boost my diet to carry a Lycan pup. I try to smile and nod along, but as Noah asks questions and Natalia excitedly answers, my mind fuzzes out their voices. All I can feel is Noah’s desperate touch on my back, and my quivering palm on my abdomen.

For days, I’ve been denying Noah’s prediction that I’m already pregnant, but now that I know I could lose this possible-baby, I’m heartbroken beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. My body has numbed into full silence. I hardly even notice we left the office to go to the car until Noah opens the passenger door for me, and I feel his eyes on me.

When I meet his terrified gaze, my heart drops. I can’t lose Noah’s baby. I don’t think I could survive it.

Just before I crumble into guttural tears, Noah grasps me, pulling me to his chest.

“Look at me,” he rasps. His eyes are just as red as his swelling lips, warning of heavy tears. I melt into whimpering sobs, but Noah shakes his head. “I’m not giving up on you, or that pup. I know you don’t believe me yet, but I feel it in my gut, Aliya. I think you’re pregnant, and I don’t think we have to worry. We’re going to make it through. Even if I’m wrong, and we’ll have to try again, I’m right here. I’ll always be here, baby or no baby. You just have to promise me one thing, okay? And I’m so sorry, but it might be one thing I can’t give you a choice on.”

My heart spikes hard enough to freeze my tears. That was so unlike him. “What do you mean?”

He opens his mouth to speak, but his breath hitches. Noah shakes his head, looking up to blink away his tears. When his stare returns to mine, my lungs ache from his pain in my heart. “Aliya, no matter what happens, you have to survive this, first and foremost, okay? I need you. I’m so sorry, and I know it’s selfish of me, but—” He bites back sharp, heaving tears. “Please, don’t leave me here alone.”

Noah’s desperate, shattered stare breaks through my dissociative state in a way I didn’t expect. Numbness evaporates from my limbs, leaving me with a stinging, raw wound in my heart.

But I love it. This pain means I already love Noah’s baby, whether they make it long enough to exist here with us or not. If all Noah needs at the end of the day is for me to exist, and all I need is for him to exist, then we’re okay. We’ll be okay.

I break into a weeping smile, straining on my toes to reach his lips. Noah hiccups against my lips, tugging at my heartstrings. I pull from his salty lips with a pop, wiping his nose with my sleeve.

“My poor, sweet Alpha,” I whisper. Noah shuts his eyes, indulging in my slow, gentle scalp scratches. “There you go, gorgeous. I’m right here. We’re in this together, and I couldn’t have chosen a better mate to do this with. Even if it ends in heartbreak, all I need is you to exist beside me too. I’m here. We’re both here.”

Noah glomps onto me hard, leaning us against his SUV. We cling to each other in silence for a while, breathing through our tears.

On the drive home, our hands are knitted tight over the center console. My heart feels an odd lightness to it. I can’t stop staring at Noah’s profile as he drives. As my eyes roam over his scruff, the extra sloppiness of his dark hair, and the soft sniffles from his ridged nose, my stomach flutters for a very different reason.

I squeeze his hand. “Noah, did it sink in for you yet?”

He furrows his brows. “Which part? There’s so much to think about that my head’s spinning.”

When I break into nervous giggles, Noah’s lips twitch like he’s tempted to smile despite his heavy heart.

But I can’t stop giggling, so Noah chuckles with me. “What is it, sweet Omega? Goddess, you’re so fucking cute.”

My heart hammers wildly, stunting my laughter. Noah nibbles his lip in the silence, only aiding my nerves as I tug on his hand. Noah allows me to move our locked fingers freely. I unfurl his clasped palm. Placing his open hand over my lower abdomen, I force myself to remember to breathe as a crashing boom of excitement hits our bond.

I can’t stop my whisper from shaking. “She said we might be— That I could be—”

My mate’s face shifts from one extreme emotion to the next, wide eyes giving way to a beaming smile and ending in an explosive laugh. I burst into laughter with him, squirming in my seat at the panic, joy, and fear racing through my chest.

“So you finally believe me?!” Noah’s supercharged eyes are neon yellow.

I sputter out a laugh, knowing I’m talking directly to the massive black wolf with zoomies in our bond. “I didn’t say I fully believed it yet. Just that someone else is on your side—the Pack Doctor, at that.”

Noah groans through his smile. “How many days is it again until you miss your period and start believing me, then?”

As I break into heavier laughter with my mate, he keeps his hand on me, rubbing my flat stomach with his thumb. It might be too early, but I’m tempted to let myself enjoy it. Deep in my heart, I know that as long as I can continue to witness Noah’s bright, beaming smile, everything will be okay.

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